Saving You Is Killing Me: Loving Someone With An Addiction

Andrea Seydel
  • 4.8 (57)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Do you love someone with an addiction? Are you struggling? YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Whether you are dealing with the turmoil that comes from loving someone with an addiction or feeling broken and knocked down from the aftermath, Saving You Is Killing Me is your go-to book and podcast that can help you take back your power and your life.

  1. 6d ago

    246 - The Book Our SYKM Community Was Meant to Write

    The pre-order is officially here! I am beyond excited to announce the release of our newest book: When Love Is Not Enough: The Hard Truth About Loving Someone with an Addiction – Stories of Strength, Hope, and Resilience from the SYKM Collective. This book has truly been a labour of love. Twenty-seven courageous individuals from the Saving You Is Killing Me (SYKM) community came together to share their deeply personal stories of loving someone with an addiction. These are stories of heartbreak, hope, courage, resilience, healing, and the incredible strength it takes to keep moving forward. In this episode, I share the story behind the book—why I felt called to create this collective, how it came together, and why I believe these stories have the power to help countless others realize they are not alone. If you have ever loved someone with an addiction, this book was written for you. Inside these pages you'll discover that while every story is unique, so many of the emotions are shared. The confusion. The fear. The hope. The grief. The walking on eggshells. The longing to rescue someone you love. Most importantly, you'll discover that even when love is not enough to save someone else, it can become the beginning of saving yourself. A heartfelt thank you to every contributor who trusted us with their story. Your courage will make a difference in the lives of readers around the world. I'm also deeply grateful to Mike O'Riley, founder of The Art of Recovery Magazine, for writing such a meaningful foreword and helping set the tone for this important collection. The official paperback launch is July 24 – International Self-Care Day. If you're listening before then, you can pre-order the digital edition today. If you're listening after July 24, both the paperback and digital editions are available wherever books are sold. 📚 Order Your Copy When Love Is Not Enough: The Hard Truth About Loving Someone with an Addiction – Stories of Strength, Hope, and Resilience from the SYKM Collective Available wherever books are sold. In This Episode Why I created When Love Is Not Enough The story behind the SYKM Collective Why twenty-seven brave individuals chose to share their stories The meaning behind the title How stories create connection, hope, and healing Why this book is for anyone who has loved someone with an addiction If this episode resonates with you, please consider sharing it with someone who may need it. Together, we can help more people feel seen, supported, and a little less alone. Sending hugs, Andrea Seydel

  2. 6d ago

    245 - Tainted Love (Part 1): When Addiction Warps the Relationship You Once Knew

    Tainted Love (Part 1): When Addiction Warps the Relationship You Once Knew At some point, many people find themselves quietly asking a question they never thought they would have to ask: “What happened to us?” What once felt stable, connected, and loving slowly begins to shift. The person you knew is still there… but something feels off. Conversations feel different. Energy feels different. The relationship begins to feel unpredictable in a way that is hard to explain. This episode explores what happens when addiction slowly warps the emotional foundation of a relationship, creating what Andrea calls tainted love. It’s not that love disappears — it’s that it becomes entangled with chaos, inconsistency, and emotional instability. Psychologically, this often involves patterns like intermittent reinforcement, where moments of connection are mixed unpredictably with moments of hurt, confusion, or distance. This creates a powerful emotional pull, making it difficult to step back even when things no longer feel healthy. Over time, this dynamic can distort your sense of what is normal. You may begin adjusting, accommodating, and trying to hold onto the version of the relationship that once existed. But here’s the truth that begins to emerge: When love becomes unpredictable, it also becomes confusing. And confusion is often the first sign that something deeper has shifted. This episode invites you to begin seeing that shift clearly — not with judgment, but with awareness. If this resonates, this is the exact dynamic explored more deeply in: 👉 Tainted Love: Stay or Go? Navigating Tough Relationship Decisions in Addiction A powerful guide for understanding when love has changed — and how to begin navigating what comes next. 💛 Continue the Journey 👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com Explore Andrea’s books: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/stores/Andrea-Seydel/author/B076PQLS1X 💛 About Andrea Andrea Seydel holds a Master’s in Happiness Studies and is trained in Positive Psychology and resilience science. Through both lived experience and professional training, she supports individuals navigating the emotional complexity of loving someone with addiction — helping them reconnect with themselves through Self-Compassion, Self-Care, Community, and Courage.

  3. Jul 2

    244 - When Sobriety Doesn’t Bring Them Back: Why the Relationship Still Feels Different

    When Sobriety Doesn’t Bring Them Back: Why the Relationship Still Feels Different Many partners expect sobriety to restore connection. But what happens when substances stop, and emotional distance remains? In this episode, Andrea explores dopamine depletion, early recovery brain healing, emotional flatness (anhedonia), and the difference between sobriety and relational repair. If you’re wondering, “They’re sober… so why does it still feel off?” — this episode offers insight and grounding. In This Episode: What happens to the brain in early sobriety • Why emotional intimacy may not immediately return • The difference between behavioral sobriety and emotional repair • Attachment patterns resurfacing • How to evaluate your relationship with clarity 💛 Continue the Journey Resources and support: 👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com Books: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/stores/Andrea-Seydel/author/B076PQLS1X 💛 About Andrea Andrea integrates positive psychology science and lived experience to help you reclaim yourself without guilt or confusion.

  4. Jun 25

    243 - How Do You Let Them Go? When Love and Fear Are Entangled

    How Do You Let Them Go? When Love and Fear Are Entangled Letting go isn’t just emotional — it can feel physical. Your chest tightens. You panic when you see overdose news. You feel responsible for keeping them safe. In this episode, Andrea explains attachment activation, hypervigilance, and the fear-responsibility loop that makes stepping back feel impossible. When love and fear become intertwined, your nervous system can interpret separation as danger. This conversation helps you separate love from obligation and clarity from panic. In This Episode: Why your nervous system reacts so intensely • Attachment trauma and separation anxiety in adults • The fear-responsibility loop • Hypervigilance and scanning for danger • How to make decisions from steadiness instead of fear 💛 Continue the Journey Visit: 👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com Explore Andrea’s books: 👉 https://www.amazon.com/stores/Andrea-Seydel/author/B076PQLS1X Including: • Saving You Is Killing Me • Tainted Love • Saving Me: One Day at a Time 💛 About Andrea Andrea Seydel holds a Master’s in Happiness Studies and formal training in Positive Psychology. Through lived experience and evidence-based insight, she helps individuals move from survival mode into clarity, strength, and self-trust.

  5. Jun 18

    242 - When “Perfect” Turns Into Chaos: Trauma Bonds, Relapse & Emotional Whiplash

    When “Perfect” Turns Into Chaos: Trauma Bonds, Relapse & Emotional Whiplash When a relationship that once felt safe and loving suddenly spirals after relapse, the emotional whiplash can leave you questioning everything — including yourself. In this episode, Andrea explores trauma bonding, intermittent reinforcement, and why intensity can feel like intimacy. You’ll learn why relapse destabilizes attachment, how dopamine cycles distort connection, and how your nervous system can become hooked on unpredictability. If you’ve ever thought, “How did something that felt so perfect turn into this?” — this episode will help you understand what’s happening psychologically and emotionally. In This Episode: What trauma bonding really is • How intermittent reinforcement keeps you attached • Why relapse creates emotional instability • The difference between intensity and intimacy • How to begin calming your nervous system

  6. Jun 11

    241 - The Wild Edge of Sorrow (Part 2): Ritual, Release & Reclaiming Yourself After Loss

    The Wild Edge of Sorrow (Part 2): Ritual, Release & Reclaiming Yourself After Loss In Part 2, Andrea shifts from understanding grief to integrating it. This episode focuses on ritual, meaning-making, boundaries, and rebuilding identity after addiction-related loss. You’ll learn: How to create simple release rituals What meaning-making really looks like How to identify what you’re no longer available for How to reclaim your identity with small, steady steps This episode highlights Self-Care and Courage as foundations for rebuilding. To explore Andrea’s book Saving You Is Killing Me: Loving Someone with an Addiction and additional tools, visit: 👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com

  7. Jun 4

    240 - The Wild Edge of Sorrow (Part 1): Understanding Grief When Addiction Changes Someone You Love

    The Wild Edge of Sorrow (Part 1): Understanding Grief When Addiction Changes Someone You Love When addiction alters your relationship, grief follows — even if no one recognizes it. In Part 1 of this two-part series inspired by grief psychology, Andrea explores disenfranchised grief, ambiguous loss, and attachment rupture. You’ll learn: Why your grief may feel invisible The layered losses addiction creates How to name what you’re truly grieving Why grief needs witnessing, not fixing This episode weaves Self-Compassion and Community into the grieving process. Find deeper support in Andrea’s book at: 👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com

  8. May 28

    239 - Why Do I Feel Physically Sick? The Body’s Response to Lies and Gaslighting

    Why Do I Feel Physically Sick? The Body’s Response to Lies, Chaos & Emotional Shock If you’ve experienced nausea, chest tightness, insomnia, or exhaustion while loving someone with addiction, this episode explains why. Andrea breaks down hypervigilance, somatic symptoms, fight-flight-freeze responses, and nervous system dysregulation in accessible language. You’ll learn: How chronic instability impacts the body Why emotional shock becomes physical symptoms Practical nervous system regulation tools How to respond to stress without blaming yourself This episode emphasizes Self-Compassion as a pathway back to physical stability. For more resources and structured guidance, visit: 👉 www.savingyouiskillingme.com

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About

Do you love someone with an addiction? Are you struggling? YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Whether you are dealing with the turmoil that comes from loving someone with an addiction or feeling broken and knocked down from the aftermath, Saving You Is Killing Me is your go-to book and podcast that can help you take back your power and your life.

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