You’ve tried explaining yourself. You’ve tried having the conversation. But what happens when nothing changes, no matter how carefully you say it? When you’ve spent so long questioning yourself, it can be difficult to trust your own judgment about what’s happening. If you’re struggling to make sense of your relationship, take my free Toxic or Troubled? survey to gain some clarity and explore your next steps. https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/toxic-troubled-survey Has someone you trusted ever put your life at risk, then acted like it was all in good fun? In this episode, Kerry sits down with journalist, and former whitewater raft guide Melanie Hamlett to explore why so many men treat danger as entertainment. Together they unpack how male conditioning strips away empathy and why ego and adrenaline override common sense. They also examine why so many women are taught to trust a confident man over their own intuition, even when lives are on the line. WANT TO GO DEEPER? In the exclusive podcast extra, Kerry and Mel get honest about the hardest part of healing: owning the ways we vouched for, protected, and stayed with dangerous people. Get immediate access to this and 100+ premium interviews when you become a Substack paid subscriber today. Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse Melanie Hamlett is a comedian, journalist, and storyteller based in Lyon, France. Her work has appeared in Harper’s Bazaar, The Washington Post, Glamour, Slate, and The Daily Beast. That includes a viral Harper’s Bazaar piece that has been cited in dozens of podcasts, books, and articles. She’s a multiple-time Moth winner. Before moving into writing and comedy, she spent years as a whitewater raft guide, an Outward Bound wilderness instructor, and a ski instructor. That firsthand experience shapes her work on the hidden dangers women face in the outdoors and in relationships. Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MelanieHamlett Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melhamlett/ 00:00 Why river guides flip the raft on purpose 00:36 Meet Melanie Hamlett 04:53 A woman died on my first day as a raft guide 08:58 Don't let a man override your intuition 11:35 My father's dangerous stunts with us kids 14:17 Why do men put women in danger? 18:35 How men are raised to be reckless 22:46 Why women keep taking care of these men 26:09 Why smart women still default to men 28:40 When "toughing it out" nearly kills you 30:40 They call it carnage, like it's fun 36:04 Where to find Melanie 36:48 Coming up in the Podcast Extra Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).
