Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

Kerry McAvoy, Ph.D.
  • 4.6 (305)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Confused by your relationship? Do you catch yourself second-guessing, walking on eggshells, or feeling emotionally drained? Whether you’re still in the chaos or trying to rebuild after leaving, this podcast is your lifeline. Join Dr. Kerry McAvoy as she exposes the hidden dynamics of toxic relationships. You’ll learn how destructive personalities operate, the manipulative tactics they use, and the stages of abuse—plus the practical steps to heal and reclaim your life. If you’re ready to break free, rebuild your self-worth, and find lasting emotional freedom, hit play and start your recovery journey today.

  1. 3d ago ·  Video

    Narcissistic Parents Don't Love Their Children — They Use Them

    They said they were managing the finances — because you weren't good with money. That every purchase had to go through them.  But somehow, there was always money for what they wanted. They made you feel like a child asking for an allowance — in your own home. And the moment you tried to leave, you realized you had nothing. Because they had made sure of it.  That wasn't financial stress. That was financial control.  This Thursday episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy reads from your stories — real accounts from people who lived inside financially controlling relationships — to break down what financial abuse actually is and what the 'broke' narcissist tactic looks like from the inside.  In this episode:  Why narcissists use money as a tool of surveillance and control The 'broke' performance: how narcissists claim poverty while draining your resources How financial abuse creates a dependency trap designed to make leaving feel impossible Why survivors so often exit these relationships having to start over in debt, isolated, and exhausted What financial recovery really requiresKey Moments: 00:00 — Caught in the middle: the child who can't take sides 02:05 — "My worst enemy, but also my best friend": love with conditions 03:39 — When the sensitive child becomes the target 05:07 — The gaze that builds a self — and the one that breaks it 06:36 — "I never said that": memory gaslighting and siblings who stop speaking 08:55 — Protecting your kids: hypervigilance, loyalty binds, and staying regulated Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

  2. 6d ago ·  Video

    When Your Narcissistic Ex Weaponizes Your Children in Their Smear Campaign

    Your child comes home from a visit with the other parent guarded. Repeating things they couldn't have come up with on their own. Now they’re looking at you differently.  That's not just "divorce being hard." That's a smear campaign — and your narcissistic ex has recruited your own children to run it.  This week, Dr. Josh Davis — neuroscientist, psychologist, and author of The Difference That Makes a Difference — joins Dr. Kerry McAvoy to break down exactly how narcissistic exes weaponize children in their smear campaigns, and what you can do to protect your relationship with your kids without playing the narcissist's game.  In this episode:   Why narcissistic exes target children in their smear campaigns and what they're really trying to accomplish  The 3 signs your child is being used as a messenger or weapon against you  How to respond when your child repeats the narcissist's narrative The one mistake most co-parents make that actually deepens the alienation Exclusive Podcast Extra Segment Want to go deeper?  Paid Substack subscribers get exclusive access to Dr. Davis's most powerful technique — a simple mental shift that lets you step outside the chaos of a difficult co-parenting moment, see it clearly, and stop reacting  🔒 Become a paid subscriber and unlock your access today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse  DR. JOSH DAVIS is a neuroscientist, psychologist, and author of The Difference That Makes a Difference. His work helps parents build stronger connections with their children using tools from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and neuroscience. Website Book: The Difference That Makes the Difference: NLP and the Science of Positive Change Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

  3. Jul 31

    Feed Swap: Covert Narcissist Relationships — When You Can't Live the Lie Anymore with Renee Swanson

    If you can name the patterns and see the behaviors, have you wondered why do you still feel so stuck? This week I'm sharing an episode from Renee Swanson of the Covert Narcissism Podcast — a feed swap I wanted to bring straight to this community. Renee unpacks what she calls "hitting the wall": the moment you can no longer live the lie in a covert narcissistic relationship, when you can't keep pretending that you're fine, that your family is fine, when it simply isn't. Renee Swanson, the host, walks through the two paths that lead there — the slow erosion that wears you down mentally, emotionally, and physically, and the sudden crack that changes everything in an instant — and what actually happens inside you when you reach that point: the numbness, the strange relief, the self-doubt. Then she gets practical about the conversation itself: what you're really trying to do when you name your reality out loud, the responses to expect (DARVO, minimizing, tears, an eerie calm), and how to stay grounded when it goes sideways. If any of this is your life right now, please be gentle with yourself as you listen — and reach out to a trusted person or a domestic-abuse resource if you need support. Find more of Renee's work and her coaching at covertnarcissism.com. Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

  4. Jul 30 ·  Video

    When Narcissists Weaponize Food: What Survivors Need to Hear

    Food shouldn't feel like a threat — but for narcissistic abuse survivors, it often does. In this viewer stories episode, survivors share exactly how the narcissist in their life weaponized food — turning meals into rituals of control, criticism, and shame. Kerry shares her own experience too. If mealtime ever filled you with dread, this episode will name what you lived through and show you why it happened. In this episode: • The specific tactics narcissists use to weaponize food • Why this coercive control tactic is so hard to identify • How emotional abuse through food leaves lasting shame, body image wounds, and even eating disorders • 3 concrete steps to begin reclaiming your relationship with food after narcissistic abuse. Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

  5. Jul 27 ·  Video

    The Real Reason Narcissists Make Food About Control

    Food is the most primal human need — and narcissists know it. The demands that ruin a vacation. The meal that is never made right. The praise given once, then withheld forever. These are calculated moves in a much larger control strategy. In this conversation, Dr. Kerry McAvoy and co-host Lynn S. decode the psychology behind narcissistic food control: why it is never actually about the food, how narcissists exploit your deepest vulnerabilities through something as basic as sustenance, and why recognizing this pattern is the first step toward disengaging from a dynamic designed to make you feel perpetually inadequate. Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment Want to go deeper? In this Members-Only episode — Lynn and Dr. Kerry unpack what happens after the recognition and why healing from food-based control takes longer than most expect. Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change. WEBSITE Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

  6. Jul 23 ·  Video

    Harmless Joke? No, It Was Sadism & Why Your Body Spotted the Truth First

    That flash of something is wrong you couldn't quite explain? Your body caught it before your mind could argue you down. In this Viewers' Stories episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy reacts to a so-called "prank" a husband pulled on his wife — secretly serving her breast milk in their guests' coffee, then bringing her breakfast in bed: toast smeared with their newborn's poop in place of peanut butter. The wife wondered if she was overreacting. Too sensitive. Unable to take a joke. This is everyday sadism — cruelty dressed up as humor — and it runs on the same engine as narcissistic abuse and gaslighting: make you doubt what you felt, and you'll never confront what they did. That's the trap. Everyday sadism doesn't hide in the shadows. Your own decency blinds you, because you can't imagine someone who claims to love you could be this callous. So instead of confronting the person who hurt you, you turn on yourself — convinced you must have gotten it wrong. That self-doubt isn't a side effect. It's the point. In this episode:  What everyday sadism and sadistic behavior actually look likeWhy your body registers danger before your mind can rationalize it awayThe exact mechanics of how cruelty disguised as humor enables gaslighting and coercive control in narcissistic abuseWhy survivors are conditioned to question their own reactions and not their abuser'sFor more on everyday sadism, be sure to check out Dr. Kerry’s interview with Joe Navarro. Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

  7. Jul 20 ·  Video

    How Dangerous Predators Hide Sadism in Plain Sight - Joe Navarro, Former FBI Agent

    The most dangerous narcissists don’t go ballistic: they peck you to death. After spending decades studying dangerous personalities, former FBI agent Joe Navarro has learned that the cruelest narcissistic abuse almost never looks the way we expect.  It hides behind the withheld compliment, the public put-down disguised as a joke, the silent treatment and the affection that never comes. In this conversation, Joe and Dr. Kerry McAvoy name the covert sadism living inside everyday relationships with a narcissist, and why it leaves lasting damage. Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment Want to go deeper?  In this Members-Only Interview — Joe walks through the practical steps to breaking free. Learn exactly the first step on how to get started. Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here. JOE NAVARRO, a former FBI agent and one of the world's foremost authorities on reading human behavior, has spent his life learning to spot dangerous people before the rest of us see them coming. Recruited into the FBI at just 23 — one of the youngest agents ever — Joe spent 25 years in counterintelligence and counterterrorism, catching spies by decoding the nonverbal signals most people miss, and went on to train both FBI agents and the wider intelligence community in the science he helped refine. Since retiring from the Bureau in 2003, he has become a sought-after speaker, consultant, and author — including the landmark Dangerous Personalities — helping people everywhere recognize the predators hiding in plain sight. WebsiteNavarro Dangerous Personality InventoryLatest Book: Mastering Connections, and the digital Navarro Dangerous Personality InventoryDangerous Personalities: An FBI Profiler Shows You How to Identify and Protect Yourself from Harmful PeopleSubmit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

  8. Jul 16 ·  Video

    Your Birthday Was Rigged to Fail: How Narcissists Sabotage Special Days

    It's your special day. Your birthday. Maybe the narcissist participated in the build-out or maybe they pretended not to notice. But you knew. And you got your hopes up. Perhaps this birthday will go differently. What you didn't expect was to spend the rest of your birthday managing their feelings. In this Viewers' Stories episode, Dr. Kerry shares submitted accounts of birthdays that ended in tears, anniversaries engineered to fail, and being asked to comfort the person who hurt you. This is the Thursday companion to Monday's episode, "Why Narcissists Destroy Your Best Days — It's Not Forgetfulness, It's Sadism," with psychotherapist Lynn Strathdee Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resourcesFirst Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital courseToxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community supportFollow Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookKerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

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Confused by your relationship? Do you catch yourself second-guessing, walking on eggshells, or feeling emotionally drained? Whether you’re still in the chaos or trying to rebuild after leaving, this podcast is your lifeline. Join Dr. Kerry McAvoy as she exposes the hidden dynamics of toxic relationships. You’ll learn how destructive personalities operate, the manipulative tactics they use, and the stages of abuse—plus the practical steps to heal and reclaim your life. If you’re ready to break free, rebuild your self-worth, and find lasting emotional freedom, hit play and start your recovery journey today.

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