Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

Kerry McAvoy, Ph.D.
  • 4.6 (281)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Confused by your relationship? Do you catch yourself second-guessing, walking on eggshells, or feeling emotionally drained? Whether you’re still in the chaos or trying to rebuild after leaving, this podcast is your lifeline. Join retired psychologist Dr. Kerry McAvoy as she exposes the hidden dynamics of toxic relationships. You’ll learn how destructive personalities operate, the manipulative tactics they use, and the stages of abuse—plus the practical steps to heal and reclaim your life. If you’re ready to break free, rebuild your self-worth, and find lasting emotional freedom, hit play and start your recovery journey today.

  1. Devastated After Betrayal? Here's Why: The Hidden Abuse That No One Talks About

    2D AGO

    Devastated After Betrayal? Here's Why: The Hidden Abuse That No One Talks About

    Ever wonder why betrayal feels so devastating—like more than just cheating?   This week, Hope Ray joins Dr. Kerry to introduce the concept of betrayal violence: the intersection of infidelity and abuse that most people don't recognize. We explore how sexual secrets create hidden power dynamics through deception, gaslighting, and exploitation—stripping partners of their consent and autonomy. PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT  Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW  🔹 When you're the victim: How do you know if you have the whole truth? Hope shares practical guidance on finding trauma-informed support and determining whether your relationship can truly heal or if it's time to leave.  👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse MORE ABOUT HOPE RAY  Website: https://www.hoperay.com   TikTok: @HopeRayTherapy HOPE RAY is a licensed therapist specializing in betrayal trauma and relationship repair after infidelity. She works extensively with couples navigating the aftermath of sexual secrets and deception, helping partners understand the abusive dynamics created by hidden betrayal. Hope developed the concept of "betrayal violence" to give language to a specific type of harm that occurs when infidelity collides with patterns of deception, gaslighting, and exploitation—abuse that doesn't fit traditional domestic violence frameworks but causes catastrophic damage nonetheless. Through her therapeutic practice and social media presence, she offers a nuanced, compassionate approach that acknowledges both the possibility of genuine change and the importance of safety and truth for betrayed partners. Stay in Touch With Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. Kerry Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project.  In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media. Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below! Support the show Disclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

    33 min
  2. Can Someone Be Both Covert AND Overt? Understanding Narcissistic Types & What Actually Matters

    6D AGO

    Can Someone Be Both Covert AND Overt? Understanding Narcissistic Types & What Actually Matters

    "My partner has traits of both covert and overt narcissism—is that possible?" This week's Fan Mail question comes from a podcast listener who writes:  "Can a person be both a covert and an overt narcissist? I'm hearing the descriptions of each and my partner has traits of both." In this episode, Dr. Kerry breaks down the confusing language around narcissistic types—what "covert" and "overt" actually mean (hint: they describe symptoms, not people), why your partner can absolutely show both presentations, and most importantly, why the type matters far less than the pattern of harm you're experiencing.  Submit Your Question  If you'd like your question addressed on air, send it here: 👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail Stay in Touch With Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. Kerry Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project.  In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media. Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below! Support the show Disclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

    9 min
  3. You Can Love Them and Still Be Exploited: Sexual Coercion with Cult Expert Pamela Takefman

    JAN 5

    You Can Love Them and Still Be Exploited: Sexual Coercion with Cult Expert Pamela Takefman

    Ever wondered how someone can exploit you sexually while you still love them? This week, Pamela Takefman joins Dr. Kerry to explain how sexual coercion works—and why it doesn’t always require kidnapping or obvious physical force to be real. We discuss how exploitation can unfold in marriages, spiritual communities, and high-status celebrity circles (including public conversations like the P. Diddy case). Learn how perpetrators gradually test boundaries until extreme exploitation feels normal, and why loving your abuser doesn’t mean the abuse isn’t real. PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT  Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW  🔹 Think you might be experiencing coercion but aren't sure? Wondering what legal options exist for survivors?   Pamela reveals what qualifies as trafficking under federal law and how to assess whether you're psychologically ready to pursue justice through the court system.  👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse MORE ABOUT PAMELA TAKEFMAN  Website: mcolaw.com  PAMELA TAKEFMAN is Deputy Head of the Sexual Misconduct in Spiritual Communities practice at McAllister Olivarius, where she represents survivors of sexual abuse, forced labor, and coercive control in cults, spiritual communities, and other high-control groups. Drawing on federal trafficking laws that recognize psychological coercion and fraud, Pamela helps survivors understand how manipulation in intimate relationships, religious organizations, and power-imbalanced situations constitutes trafficking—even when physical force was never used. Her work challenges the narrow public understanding of trafficking and provides legal pathways for survivors whose abuse occurred within relationships where love and exploitation coexisted. Stay in Touch With Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. Kerry Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project.  In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media. Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below! Support the show Disclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

    30 min
  4. Narcissistic In-Laws: Why They Deny the Truth (and What to Do)

    12/29/2025

    Narcissistic In-Laws: Why They Deny the Truth (and What to Do)

    If you’re dealing with narcissistic in-laws, you already know how surreal it feels: they watch abuse happen—and then insist it didn’t. In this episode, we break down why narcissistic in-laws deny the truth, protect the abuser, and turn the target into “the problem.” You’ll learn the family-system roles that keep this going (enablers, flying monkeys, scapegoat dynamics) and what actually helps you stay grounded. We revisit my interview with Rossana, who shares firsthand what it’s like when your partner’s family rallies against you. Plus, a listener story that mirrors this exact pattern—and what she did next. Chapters 0:00 Toxic In-Law Drama During Holidays 4:13 Parenting Advice Wars: Water Battle 10:20 Six Reasons You Became the Problem 13:29 Your Growth Looks Like Defiance 16:30 Projecting Toxicity Onto Victim 21:41 Creating Couple Boundaries PODCAST EXTRA  Next week, the Podcast Extra exclusive interviews will return.  All Substack paid subscribers now receive immediate access to the Toxic-Free Relationship Club, which includes:  Invitation to the monthly Q&A with Dr. Kerry Quarterly club-wide events featuring narcissistic abuse expertsWeekly newsletter with exclusive insights  👉 Join a supportive community dedicated to healing and recovery:  MORE ABOUT ROSSANA FAYE Website: https://rollercoasteroflove.ca Instagram & TikTok: @_rollercoasteroflove  Books:  Rollercoaster of Love: Healing Journal - https://amzn.to/3MyRl8B Narc Free Journal: A Step by Step Guide to Your Freedom - https://amzn.to/44eAFcH  ROSSANA FAYE knows what it's like to be trapped on an emotional rollercoaster. After surviving 14 years in an abusive relationship, she transformed her pain into purpose—becoming a Certified Life and Relationship Coach dedicated to helping others break free from narcissistic abuse.  As the founder of Rollercoaster of Love Inc. and host of Real Talk with Ro, Rossana creates content that's both relatable and deeply validating. She's the author of Rollercoaster of Love: Healing Journal and Narc Free Journal: A Step by Step Guide to Your Freedom—tools that guide survivors from trauma bonds to true freedom. Stay in Touch With Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. Kerry Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project.  In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse pod Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below! Support the show Disclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

    28 min
  5. When Dangerous People Don't Look Scary: How to Spot the Dark Triad Personality Type

    12/22/2025

    When Dangerous People Don't Look Scary: How to Spot the Dark Triad Personality Type

    Can a psychopath be a good person? And how do we spot dangerous people when they seem so charming?  This holiday special brings you an in-depth answer to one of your most-asked questions with highlights from Dr. Kerry's interview with Tara Blair Ball about the Dark Triad Personality.   We explore why dangerous people don't look scary, how we underestimate predatory behavior through "positive projection," and the critical difference between niceness and kindness—especially important to remember during the holiday season.  CHAPTERS 0:38 Can Psychopaths Live Morally? 7:09 Narcissism, Psychopathy & Machiavellianism Explained 10:09 Why We're Attracted to Arrogance & Confidence 13:04 The Stages of Moral Development 17:45 The Mask of Sanity: Nice Doesn't Mean Good 22:48 The Light Triad: The Opposite of Dark Personalities PODCAST EXTRA  This week, there is no exclusive Podcast Extra interview. Instead, we're offering this special holiday edition to ALL Substack subscribers as our gift to you!   This is the perfect time to join our community.  SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT  All Substack paid subscribers now receive immediate access to the Toxic-Free Relationship Club, which includes:  -Invitation to the monthly Q&A with Dr. Kerry  -Quarterly club-wide events featuring narcissistic abuse experts  -Weekly newsletter with exclusive insights  Find the Substack newsletter and join the community here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse  👉 Get immediate access and join a supportive community dedicated to healing and recovery: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse Stay in Touch With Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. Kerry Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project.  In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media. Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below! Support the show Disclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

    28 min
  6. How Do I Know If I'm in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship? Watch for These Signs

    12/18/2025

    How Do I Know If I'm in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship? Watch for These Signs

    "How do I know if I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship?" asks a YouTube listener.  In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why even asking this question is an important sign of possible trouble. Dr Kerry will outline what emotional abuse actually looks like (hint: it's not about one-off incidents—it's about patterns) and why you might feel like you're shrinking or walking on eggshells.  Abusive relationships turn people into functional objects instead of letting them shine as a fully autonomous and complex person.  Chapters 0:00 Introduction: “How Do I Know I’m in an Abusive Relationship?” 1:59 Signs You Can't Be Your Full Self 6:09 When Adults Refuse to Learn Life Skills 8:38 Red Flags: Questioning Your Reality Submit Your Question  If you'd like your question addressed on air, send it here:  👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail Stay in Touch With Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. Kerry Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project.  In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media. Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below! Support the show Disclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

    10 min
  7. When Your Family Chooses the Narcissist Over You: What Survivors Must Know

    12/15/2025

    When Your Family Chooses the Narcissist Over You: What Survivors Must Know

    Ever felt like you're the problem in your family—even when you're the one being hurt? This week, Ágatha Peters joins Dr. Kerry to explore how cultural expectations and family loyalty create the perfect conditions for narcissistic abuse to thrive undetected. We discuss why narcissism often goes unnamed in non-Western cultures, how the scapegoat role becomes nearly impossible to escape when the entire community reinforces it, and why leaving isn't just about one relationship—it's about losing your entire world.  CHAPTERS 0:00 The Struggles of Leaving a Toxic Relationship with Agatha Peters 3:21 Cultural Perspectives on Narcissism 7:32 Impact of Family and Culture on the Development of Self 10:30 Narcissism as a Global Problem 15:28 Navigating Abuse in a Foreign Country 18:34 When You're Abused in Foreign Country 23:45 Understanding the Role of the Scapegoat PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT  Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here. MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW  🔹 Stuck as the family scapegoat? Wondering how to survive when you can't leave?  Ágatha reveals the psychological strategies that help you endure when escape isn't an option, why you can't change your role in a narcissistic family system, and how to build your own community within a community that's failed you.  👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview MORE ABOUT ÁGATHA PETERS  Website: beautifulsunshinetherapy.com  Instagram & TikTok: @beautifulsunshinetherapyBook: Trapped in Their Script: Reclaim Your Life from Narcissistic Abuse and Cultural Expectations ÁGATHA PETERS is a licensed therapist specializing in narcissistic abuse recovery within multicultural contexts. Drawing from both her clinical expertise and personal experience navigating cultural expectations, Ágatha helps clients understand how family loyalty, collectivist values, and cultural identity intersect with narcissistic dynamics—making abuse harder to name, harder to prove, and nearly impossible to escape without losing everything. Stay in Touch With Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. Kerry Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project.  In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media. Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below! Support the show Disclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

    29 min
  8. Why Does Surviving Narcissistic Abuse Turn You into Someone You Don't Recognize?

    12/11/2025

    Why Does Surviving Narcissistic Abuse Turn You into Someone You Don't Recognize?

    You dodged a bullet!" No—the bullet hit me. I just survived. This week's Fan Mail question comes from a YouTube listener who writes:  "People tell me I dodged a bullet. But the bullet hit me—I just survived. I feel like it turned me into a monster. The PTSD caused me to start reacting more strongly to smaller triggers and even did abusive things myself in what I felt was self-defense." In this episode, Dr. Kerry addresses why "you dodged a bullet" feels so wrong, what survivor's guilt really is, why up to 75% of narcissistic abuse survivors develop PTSD, and how to make peace with the protective parts of yourself that helped you survive—without exiling them.  Submit Your Question  If you'd like your question addressed on air, send it here:  👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail Stay in Touch With Dr. Kerry! YoutubeInstagramTikTokFacebookMore About Dr. Kerry Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project.  In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media. Submit your question to be answered on air to the Fan Mail link below! Support the show Disclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

    10 min
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Confused by your relationship? Do you catch yourself second-guessing, walking on eggshells, or feeling emotionally drained? Whether you’re still in the chaos or trying to rebuild after leaving, this podcast is your lifeline. Join retired psychologist Dr. Kerry McAvoy as she exposes the hidden dynamics of toxic relationships. You’ll learn how destructive personalities operate, the manipulative tactics they use, and the stages of abuse—plus the practical steps to heal and reclaim your life. If you’re ready to break free, rebuild your self-worth, and find lasting emotional freedom, hit play and start your recovery journey today.

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