Real Talk with Lisa Sonni: Relationships Uncensored

Lisa Sonni
  • 4.7 (23)
  • Relationships

This is the podcast your abuser doesn’t want you to hear.  Hosted by relationship coach and abuse recovery educator Lisa Sonni, Real Talk pulls back the curtain on toxic and abusive dynamics, romantic relationships, familial, and friendships. This is the raw truth no one else is saying out loud. No sugarcoating. No “just leave” advice.  Just real stories, real insight, and real talk—so you can finally feel seen, not silenced. 

  1. 5d ago

    Character Isn’t Chemistry: How to Stop Falling for Sparks and Start Seeing Who He Really Is | Chantel Hyde S4E5

    Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! If you've ever felt terrified to date again after abuse, wondered why your "radar" keeps failing you, or questioned how to trust yourself (and others) moving forward—this episode is going to validate everything you've sensed and give you clear, practical tools to move forward with confidence. Canada’s Dating Coach Chantel Hyde joins us to share her powerful insights drawn from sociology, psychology, personal experience, and years of coaching women through healing and dating. We dive deep into why slowing down is non-negotiable, how to properly vet partners, the biology and psychology behind toxic attraction, and how to rebuild your self-respect so you never settle for less again. This conversation dismantles the societal conditioning that leads women into unhealthy dynamics and replaces it with empowering strategies for choosing (and being chosen by) high-quality partners. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com  Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy.  Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    50 min

  2. Jun 2

    He Doesn’t Want A Partner. He Wants A Mother | Aishia Grevenberg S4E4

    Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! If you've ever been told your standards are too high, that you're trying to change him, or that real love means accepting everything he does - this episode is going to name something you've been feeling for a long time but maybe couldn't say out loud. Therapist, educator, and LCSW Aishia Grevenberg is back for her third conversation with me, and this time we're getting into why abusive men genuinely believe love should be unconditional - and why that belief has nothing to do with love. What they're really asking for isn't a partner. It's a mother. And once you understand the dominance dynamic underneath that demand, so much of what happened to you starts to make a different kind of sense. We talk about why your needs feel like a threat to a man who needs control, the difference between pity and compassion and how men use one to keep you stuck, what love bombing actually does to a woman who grew up without a baseline for healthy love, and why having conditions in a relationship isn't selfish - it's the bare minimum. If someone has ever made you feel like your standards were the problem, this one will make you feel a lot less crazy and a lot less alone. Find Aishia: @mytherapistlife on all platforms Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com  Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy.  Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    48 min

  3. May 26

    5 Covert Gaslighting Tactics That Make You Question Your Own Reality | Dr. Robin Stern | S4E3

    Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! You know what gaslighting is. ”You're too sensitive.” ”I was just joking.” ”That never happened.” But there is a version of gaslighting that is much harder to name. It does not announce itself. It works slowly, through tone and framing and forgetfulness and calm. And by the time you notice it, you have already started doubting your own memory, your own perception, and your own mind. Lisa sits down with Dr. Robin Stern, therapist, author, and co-founder of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, to go deep on the 5 covert tactics that most people never recognize as gaslighting. Dr. Stern is clear that these tactics are not always conscious, but in the hands of someone who uses them consistently, the effect is the same. You stop trusting yourself. You begin organizing your life around avoiding his reaction. You forget who you were before the confusion started. Because sometimes the calmest person in the room is causing the most damage. Resources mentioned: The Gaslight Effect by Dr. Robin SternYale Center for Emotional IntelligenceSupport the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com  Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy.  Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    40 min

  4. May 19

    How Abusive Men Make You Think You're the Abuser | Emma Davey | S4E2

    Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! If you have ever wondered whether you are the toxic one, the narcissist, the problem…that question is not a coincidence, it was put there on purpose. Lisa sits down with Emma Davey, trauma-informed counsellor and master's candidate in the psychology of coercive and controlling behaviour, to break down exactly how abusive men flip the script. Together they walk through how self-blame gets installed from the very beginning, why the fawn response has so many women working overtime to manage someone else's mood, and what DARVO actually looks like in real time inside a relationship and in court. They also get into the fight response, the moment you finally explode after months or years of being poked, prodded, and worn down, and why that moment gets weaponized as proof that you are the unstable one. Emma is clear: that reaction does not make you the abuser, it makes you human. Your nervous system was doing exactly what it was built to do. One of the most important reframes in this conversation is also one of the simplest. The person genuinely causing harm is not lying awake at night wondering if they are hurting you. They are not on YouTube looking for answers. You are. And that tells you everything you need to know. Resources mentioned: Mynara app by Emma Davey (evidence tracking, disguised as a calculator)My Trauma Therapy: mytraumatherapy.co.ukSupport the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com  Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy.  Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    48 min

  5. May 12

    Why Narcissists Explode When You Set Boundaries | Bill Eddy on High Conflict Escalation | S4E1

    Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! You knew it was coming. Maybe not the exact moment, but you felt it building. The tension in the room. The stillness before it broke. Your nervous system clocked it before your brain caught up. That's pattern recognition, and there's a reason these conflicts follow a script. Lisa sits down with Bill Eddy, lawyer, therapist, mediator, and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute, to break down exactly why escalation in high conflict relationships is predictable, what triggers it, and how it plays out differently across three distinct personality patterns. Bill explains why setting a boundary isn't just uncomfortable for these people, it's experienced as a threat that requires a response. He covers how they move from verbal attacks to punishment to recruiting others into the conflict, why they see themselves as the victim even while causing harm, and what survivors consistently get wrong when they're in the middle of it. One of the most important moments in this conversation is a simple reframe: escalation is not proof that you did something wrong. It's proof that the system was challenged. Once you understand that, everything shifts. Resources mentioned: SLIC Solutions: Setting Limits and Imposing Consequences by Bill EddySplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill EddyHigh Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.comSupport the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com  Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy.  Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    46 min

  6. May 5

    “It’s Not Confusion” Why Abusive Behavior Feels Unclear (But Isn’t) | S3EP16

    Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! You keep trying to make sense of it.  Maybe he didn’t mean it. Maybe you misunderstood. Maybe you’re overthinking. The reality? Confusion is not the problem. It’s the outcome. When someone can hurt you and comfort you in the same breath, your brain tries to reconcile two realities that don’t belong together. He loves you and he harms you. He apologizes and repeats it. That contradiction is what keeps you stuck trying to figure it out.  In this “Best Of” Real Talk episode, Lisa pulls together powerful insights from Dr. Peter Salerno, Aishia Grevenberg, Dr. Les Carter, and Brent MacLerie to expose what is actually happening beneath that confusion.  They break down how manipulation often hides behind subtle behavior, how entitlement drives repeated harm, and why the idea that “he doesn’t know what he’s doing” keeps you trapped longer.  When behavior repeats, especially when it hurts you, that is not confusion. That is information.  The clarity you’ve been searching for is not in understanding him better. It’s in seeing the pattern clearly and trusting what it’s already showing you.  🎧 Listen to the full episodes:  Dr. Peter Salerno: https://youtu.be/_gKCmT1YazY  Aishia Grevenberg: https://youtu.be/-LeQ9ZwtcGY  Dr. Les Carter: https://youtu.be/kU5siEWppf8  Brent MacLerie: https://youtu.be/aibF4SAjX_8 Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com  Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy.  Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    47 min

  7. Apr 28

    If He Acts Like This About Sex, It's Abuse | Best Of Relationships Uncensored | S3E16

    Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! "Physical touch is his love language." "If you loved him, you'd just do it." "If you were having more sex with him, maybe he wouldn't cheat."  You've heard these. Maybe you've even believed them. These aren't relationship truths. They're the exact language used to override your instincts and make you question what you already know.  In this Best Of episode, Lisa brings together the most powerful moments from her conversations with Dr. Danielle Kramer, Dr. Kate Balestrieri, and Nat LaJune, four voices, four perspectives, all pointing to the same truth: sexual entitlement inside a committed relationship is coercion.  Coercion is abuse. If your bedroom feels like an obligation instead of a connection, that's not a you problem. When someone believes your body is something they're owed, intimacy doesn't just suffer, it dies. And it's being killed on purpose.  Your feelings matter. Your discomfort matters. Your no matters.  Links to the full episodes with Dr. Danielle Kramer, Dr. Kate Balestrieri, and Nat LaJune are below. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com  Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy.  Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    43 min

  8. Apr 14

    How Abusive Men Turn Strong Women Into Women Who Stay with Dr. Peter Salerno | S3EP15

    Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! You didn’t become someone else overnight. You were shaped into someone who could survive him. It starts quietly. The confidence he once admired becomes “too much.” Your opinions become “dramatic.” Slowly, almost imperceptibly, you begin editing yourself to keep the peace. What feels like compromise is actually erosion. In this conversation, Lisa sits down with Dr. Peter Salerno to expose the psychological process behind how strong, self-aware women lose themselves in abusive relationships.  It is patterned, strategic, and deeply disorienting. They unpack how abusers study your strengths, then weaponize them, how intermittent reinforcement conditions you to stay, and how the relationship becomes a system that rewards your self-abandonment while punishing your authenticity. They also break down the moment everything flips, when you stop assessing him and start managing yourself. The confusion, the self-doubt, the constant internal analysis. None of it is weakness. It is conditioning. By the time you leave, the deepest loss is not just the relationship. It is the version of you that slowly disappeared inside it. Healing is not just about understanding what happened. It is about rebuilding self-respect so fully that you can never be trained out of yourself again. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com  Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy.  Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

    45 min
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4.7
out of 5
23 Ratings

About

This is the podcast your abuser doesn’t want you to hear.  Hosted by relationship coach and abuse recovery educator Lisa Sonni, Real Talk pulls back the curtain on toxic and abusive dynamics, romantic relationships, familial, and friendships. This is the raw truth no one else is saying out loud. No sugarcoating. No “just leave” advice.  Just real stories, real insight, and real talk—so you can finally feel seen, not silenced. 

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