BPD Diaries: Stories and Science with Steff

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I'm Steff, psychologist & BPD Warrior. Join me for unfiltered stories, the latest research, & practical strategies that actually work. It’s real, raw, & honest talk about BPD, with just enough humor to make the hard stuff easier to hear. Whether you're navigating your own diagnosis, supporting someone who is, or just trying to understand, you're welcome here. Brought to you with love by Stephanie Schildknecht Note: Earlier episodes feature my wonderful co-host, Kerry Fisher. Her warmth & laughter remain part of this podcast's story, & I'm so grateful for the foundation we built together.

  1. 99% Sought Help. Most Didn't Get It In Time | BPD Expert Dr Jillian Broadbear on Men with BPD, Suicide & What Needs to Change

    Jun 12

    99% Sought Help. Most Didn't Get It In Time | BPD Expert Dr Jillian Broadbear on Men with BPD, Suicide & What Needs to Change

    99% of people with BPD who die by suicide sought help in the year before their death. 88% in the last six weeks. They were going to the right places - emergency departments, GPs, crisis services. The system failed them. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Jillian Broadbear, researcher at Spectrum, Australia's leading personality disorder service, to ask the hard questions. She talks about why men are being left behind, what the suicide data actually says, and why self-compassion might be the unexpected key to recovery.  Plus, Dr. Broadbear shares an exclusive: Spectrum's new trial using MDMA-assisted therapy for people with BPD and complex trauma - a world-first that could change everything. For anyone who's ever felt invisible, misunderstood, or like giving up. This one's for you. "There are a lot of people who care. Don't give up. You are worth it." - Dr. Jillian Broadbear    🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at bpddiariespodcast@gmail.com and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT, Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org 📚 Referenced Research Includes: Broadbear, J. H., Bhagwandas, M. G., Crowley, S., Cheney, L., & Rao, S. (2025). Exploring the pathways to diagnosis for men with borderline personality disorder: A qualitative study. International Journal of Mental Health Nursing, 34(1), e13413. ⁠https://doi.org/10.1111/inm.13413Digital Object Identifier (DOI)⁠ Broadbear, J. H., Dwyer, J., Bugeja, L., & Rao, S. (2020). Coroners’ investigations of suicide in Australia: The hidden toll of borderline personality disorder. Journal of psychiatric research, 129, 241-249.⁠10.1016/j.jpsychires.2020.07.007⁠ Donald, F., Lawrence, K. A., Broadbear, J. H., & Rao, S. (2019). An exploration of self-compassion and self-criticism in the context of personal recovery from borderline personality disorder. Australasian Psychiatry, 27(1), 56-59. 🔗 Links:  Spectrum Personality Disorder Service:  ⁠⁠spectrumbpd.com.au⁠⁠ Spectrum Annual Research Forum - November 6th, free and virtual

    48 min
  2. You Love Someone With BPD. Now What? | Honest Answers to What Loved Ones of People With BPD Ask Most

    May 22

    You Love Someone With BPD. Now What? | Honest Answers to What Loved Ones of People With BPD Ask Most

    You love someone with BPD. But some nights, you lie awake wondering: • Do they actually love me?• Am I codependent or just a caring person?• Is this BPD or emotional abuse?• Should I stay or should I leave?• Why do they threaten suicide when I try to leave, and what do I actually do? These are some the questions partners, parents, and friends of people with BPD ask. Often with guilt. Often with exhaustion. Often without anyone giving them a straight answer. This episode answers some of the most common questions from loved ones. Not with easy answers, but with honesty and compassion for both sides. If you've ever felt like you're losing yourself while loving someone with BPD, this one is for you. [This is the second episode in my BPD Awareness Month series. You don't need to have heard Episode 1 to understand this one.] Family Connections: https://sashbear.org/family-connections/ 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at bpddiariespodcast@gmail.com and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT, Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org

    45 min
  3. The Internet's Most Asked BPD Questions, Answered | People with BPD Edition

    May 8

    The Internet's Most Asked BPD Questions, Answered | People with BPD Edition

    It's BPD Awareness Month. So I am doing something different. I keep seeing the same questions. Asked at 2am. Asked through tears. Asked by people who are exhausted, confused, and just want an honest answer. This episode answers 10 of the most common questions people with BPD actually ask, including: • Is it BPD or bipolar? • Why do I react so intensely even when I know better? • Am I a bad person because of what I've done during episodes?• Are people with BPD manipulative? • Why do I lie even about small things? • Why do I feel empty even when things are going okay? • What is a 'favorite person' and why does it hurt so much? • Why do I keep splitting on people I love and how do I stop? • Can I ever have a normal relationship? • Can I recover without DBT? I'm not just answering them. I'm showing you how to ask them better, because the way you ask a question changes what you can find. And at the end: a bonus question that almost no one is asking. The one that might matter more than all the others. This is for anyone with BPD who is tired of feeling like a problem to be solved and is ready to start building something worth living for. 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at bpddiariespodcast@gmail.com and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT, Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org

    35 min
  4. Too Old for a BPD Diagnosis? | Late-Life BPD Diagnosis (And Why It's Never Too Late to Heal)

    Apr 18

    Too Old for a BPD Diagnosis? | Late-Life BPD Diagnosis (And Why It's Never Too Late to Heal)

    In this episode, we explore what it means to receive a BPD diagnosis later in life. Why it happens so often, what the latest research tells us about BPD across the lifespan, and why healing is never too late. Whether you're newly diagnosed, still searching for answers, or supporting someone you love, this one's for you. It's never too late to be understood. 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at bpddiariespodcast@gmail.com and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT, Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org 📚 Referenced Research Includes: Broadbear, J. H., Bhagwandas, M. G., Crowley, S., Cheney, L., & Rao, S. (2025). Exploring the Pathways to Diagnosis for Men With Borderline Personality Disorder: A Qualitative Study. International Journal of Mental Health Nursing, 34(1). https://doi.org/10.1111/inm.13413  Ekiz, E., van Alphen, S. P., Ouwens, M. A., & Videler, A. C. (2026). Managing Emotional Intensity Difficulties in Older Adults With Personality Disorders: A Proof-of-Concept Study. Journal of Clinical Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.70090 Hill, R. (2005). End-of-life care for the patient with borderline personality disorder. Journal of Hospice & Palliative Nursing, 7(3), 150–161. Jo, R., Broadbear, J. H., Hope, J., & Rao, S. (2023). Late manifestation of borderline personality disorder: Characterization of an under-recognized phenomenon. Personality and Mental Health, 17(2), 165–175. https://doi.org/10.1002/pmh.1571 Khasho, D. A., Van Alphen, S. P. J., Heijnen-Kohl, S. M. J., Ouwens, M. A., Arntz, A., & Videler, A. C. (2019). The effectiveness of individual schema therapy in older adults with borderline personality disorder: Protocol of a multiple-baseline study. Contemporary Clinical Trials Communications, 14, 100330. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.conctc.2019.100330 Kjaer, J. N., Biskin, R., Vestergaard, C. H., & Munk-Jorgensen, P. (2015). A nationwide study of mortality in patients with borderline personality disorder. European Psychiatry, 30(S1), 1–1. doi:10.1016/S0924-9338(15)30162-0 Lynch, T. R., et al. (2007). Dialectical behavior therapy for depressed older adults: A randomized pilot study. American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, 15(5), 383–393. Rexand-Galais, F., Pithon, L., & Le Goff, J. (2021). Assessment of borderline personality disorder in geriatric institutions. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, 629571. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.629571 Stiles, C., Batchelor, R., Gumley, A., & Gajwani, R. (2023). Experiences of stigma and discrimination in borderline personality disorder: A systematic review and qualitative meta-synthesis. Journal of Personality Disorders, 37(2), 177–194. https://doi.org/10.1521/pedi.2023.37.2.177 Videler, A. C., et al. (2020). Schema therapy for personality disorders in older adults. Aging & Mental Health, 24(1), 119–126. Zanarini, M. C., Frankenburg, F. R., Hennen, J., Reich, D. B., & Silk, K. R. (2005). The McLean Study of Adult Development (MSAD): Overview and implications of the first six years of prospective follow-up. Journal of Personality Disorders, 19(5), 505–523. https://doi.org/10.1521/pedi.2005.19.5.505 C0MCs5181rD1oysF4PfM

    35 min
  5. Quiet BPD | The One Who Always Has It Together (And Is Quietly Falling Apart)

    Apr 3

    Quiet BPD | The One Who Always Has It Together (And Is Quietly Falling Apart)

    What if your emotional pain was invisible , even to the people closest to you? In this episode, we explore Quiet BPD: the presentation of Borderline Personality Disorder where the storm rages entirely on the inside. No outbursts. No visible chaos. Just a carefully maintained exterior while everything underneath is burning. We cover what Quiet BPD actually is (and what the research says), why it's so often misdiagnosed as depression, anxiety, or even autism, and what daily life looks like for people who've learned to turn their pain inward rather than outward. If you've ever felt like you were performing "fine" while privately falling apart, this episode was made for you. Topics covered: internalizing vs. externalizing BPD, shame & self-blame, misdiagnosis, treatment options including DBT & IFS, advice for loved ones Your struggle is valid , whether it's loud or quiet. 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at bpddiariespodcast@gmail.com and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT, Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org 📚 Referenced Research Includes:  Book:⁠The Complete Guide to Quiet BPD by Paul Fabunni Meredith⁠ Centres for Health and Healing Ontario. (2025). Living with Quiet BPD: Signs, Triggers, and Coping Strategies. Retrieved from: https://cfhh.ca/blog/living-with-quiet-bpd-signs-triggers-coping-strategies/ Higgins, H. M. (2025). The Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder: Understanding and Thriving with Internalized EUPD/BPD.  Lenzenweger, M. F., Lane, M. C., Loranger, A. W., & Kessler, R. C. (2007). DSM-IV personality disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication. Biological psychiatry, 62(6), 553-564. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2006.09.019  Lo, I. (2021). The struggles of quiet BPD. Retrieved from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-emotional-intensity/202107/the-struggles-quiet-bpd  Millon, T. (2011). Disorders of personality: Introducing a DSM/ICD spectrum from normal to abnormal. John Wiley & Sons.   Stoffers-Winterling, J. M., Storebø, O. J., Kongerslev, M. T., Faltinsen, E., Todorovac, A., Jørgensen, M. S., ... & Simonsen, E. (2022). Psychotherapies for borderline personality disorder: a focused systematic review and meta-analysis. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 221(3), 538-552. doi:10.1192/bjp.2021.204  Wolf, K., Scharoba, J., Noack, R., Keller, A., & Weidner, K. (2023). Subtypes of borderline personality disorder in a day-clinic setting—Clinical and therapeutic differences. Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment, 14(5), 555.

    30 min
  6. When Food Becomes a Coping Mechanism | BPD & Eating Disorders

    Mar 20

    When Food Becomes a Coping Mechanism | BPD & Eating Disorders

    Nearly 1 in 3 people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) will also experience an eating disorder at some point in their lives. But this connection goes far deeper than food, weight, or appearance. In this episode, we explore the powerful and often misunderstood relationship between BPD and eating disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder. Why do these conditions so often occur together? What role do emotion dysregulation, impulsivity, identity disturbance, and chronic emptiness play in disordered eating? And what does current research say about the most effective ways to support recovery? 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at bpddiariespodcast@gmail.com and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT, Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org 📚 Referenced Research Includes: Cassioli, E., Rossi, E., D'Anna, G., Martelli, M., Hazzard, V. M., Crosby, R. D., ... & Castellini, G. (2022). A 1‐year follow‐up study of the longitudinal interplay between emotion dysregulation and childhood trauma in the treatment of anorexia nervosa. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 55(1), 98-107. https://doi.org/10.1002/eat.23647  Chen, E. Y., Brown, M. Z., Harned, M. S., & Linehan, M. M. (2009). A comparison of borderline personality disorder with and without eating disorders. Psychiatry research, 170(1), 86-90. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2009.03.006  Fairburn, C. G. (2008). Cognitive behavior therapy and eating disorders. Guilford Press.  Federici, A., & Wisniewski, L. (2013). An intensive DBT program for patients with multidiagnostic eating disorder presentations: A case series analysis. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 46(4), 322-331. https://doi.org/10.1002/eat.22112Digital Object Identifier (DOI)  Khosravi, M. (2020). Eating disorders among patients with borderline personality disorder: understanding the prevalence and psychopathology. Journal of Eating Disorders, 8(1), 38. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40337-020-00314-3  Racine, S. E., & Wildes, J. E. (2015). Emotion dysregulation and anorexia nervosa: An exploration of the role of childhood abuse. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 48(1), 55-58.  https://doi.org/10.1002/eat.22364Digital Object Identifier (DOI)  Sansone, R. A., & Sansone, L. A. (2010). Borderline personality and eating disorders: A chaotic crossroads. In Treatment of eating disorders (pp. 217-232). Academic Press. https://doi.org/10.1016/B978-0-12-375668-8.10013-0 Crisis & Support Resources: National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) Helpline: 1-800-931-2237Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

    28 min
  7. The Most Effective Free Skill You're Not Using for BPD | Sleep and BPD

    Mar 6

    The Most Effective Free Skill You're Not Using for BPD | Sleep and BPD

    For many people with Borderline Personality Disorder, night isn’t peaceful. It’s when the abandonment dreams start.When shame replays.When the nervous system refuses to power down. Sleep isn’t just rest, it’s emotional regulation, impulse control, and survival. In this episode, we talk about sleep and BPD, from vivid nightmares and insomnia to the emotional hangover that lingers the next day, and how to be better at sleep. 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at bpddiariespodcast@gmail.com and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT, Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org 📚 Referenced Research Includes: George, K. C., Kebejian, L., Ruth, L. J., Miller, C. W., & Himelhoch, S. (2016). Meta-analysis of the efficacy and safety of prazosin versus placebo for the treatment of nightmares and sleep disturbances in adults with posttraumatic stress disorder. Journal of Trauma & Dissociation, 17(4), 494-510. https://doi.org/10.1080/15299732.2016.1141150 Gieselmann, A., Ait Aoudia, M., Carr, M., Germain, A., Gorzka, R., Holzinger, B., ... & Pietrowsky, R. (2019). Aetiology and treatment of nightmare disorder: State of the art and future perspectives. Journal of sleep research, 28(4), e12820.  https://doi.org/10.1111/jsr.12820 Selby, E. A. (2013). Chronic sleep disturbances and borderline personality disorder symptoms. Journal of consulting and clinical psychology, 81(5), 941.  van Trigt, S., van der Zweerde, T., van Someren, E. J., van Straten, A., & van Marle, H. J. (2025). A theoretical perspective on the role of sleep in borderline personality disorder: From causative factor to treatment target. Sleep Medicine Reviews, 81, 102089. 10.1016/j.smrv.2025.102089 https://doi.org/10.1037/a0033201 Walker, M. (2017). Why we sleep: Unlocking the power of sleep and dreams. Simon and Schuster. Winsper, C., Lereya, S. T., Marwaha, S., Thompson, A., Eyden, J., & Singh, S. P. (2016). The aetiological and psychopathological validity of borderline personality disorder in youth: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Clinical psychology review, 44, 13-24. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2015.12.001

    28 min
  8. Is Recovery From BPD Possible?

    Feb 20

    Is Recovery From BPD Possible?

    What does recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder actually look like? For years, Borderline Personality Disorder was considered chronic and untreatable.And if you've ever searched for "BPD recovery," you've probably seen two extreme narratives: the hopeless one that says you'll never change, and the oversimplified one that says DBT will fix everything overnight. Neither tells the full story In this episode, we dive into the messy, non-linear, and deeply human reality of recovery. We explore what the research actually says, and what recovery feels like from the inside. 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to hear from you. Email us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠bpddiariespodcast@gmail.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and let’s keep the conversation going. 🎧 Looking for meditations made for emotional regulation, BPD, and more? Check out  Empowered Heroes Meditations  on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify. If you’d like more support in your journey toward BPD recovery, Steff offers 1:1 sessions using evidence-based tools from DBT, Schema Therapy, and Mindfulness to help you heal. Email for a free 30-Minute Consultation:  📩 steff@bpdsupport.org or check out the website: www.bpdsupport.org 📚 Referenced Research Includes: Bateman, A., & Fonagy, P. (2009). Randomized controlled trial of outpatient mentalization-based treatment versus structured clinical management for borderline personality disorder. American journal of Psychiatry, 166(12), 1355-1364.https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.2009.0904053 Davidson, R. J., & McEwen, B. S. (2012). Social influences on neuroplasticity: stress and interventions to promote well-being. Nature neuroscience, 15(5), 689-695. https://doi.org/10.1038/nn.3093 Gunderson, J. G., Stout, R. L., McGlashan, T. H., Shea, M. T., Morey, L. C., Grilo, C. M., ... & Skodol, A. E. (2011). Ten-year course of borderline personality disorder: psychopathology and function from the Collaborative Longitudinal Personality Disorders study. Archives of general psychiatry, 68(8), 827-837. doi:10.1001/archgenpsychiatry.2011.37 Linehan, M. (1993). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of borderline personality disorder. Guilford press. Linehan, M. M., Comtois, K. A., Murray, A. M., Brown, M. Z., Gallop, R. J., Heard, H. L., ... & Lindenboim, N. (2006). Two-year randomized controlled trial and follow-up of dialectical behavior therapy vs therapy by experts for suicidal behaviors and borderline personality disorder. Archives of general psychiatry, 63(7), 757-766. doi:10.1001/archpsyc.63.7.757 Ng, F. Y., Bourke, M. E., & Grenyer, B. F. (2016). Recovery from borderline personality disorder: A systematic review of the perspectives of consumers, clinicians, family and carers. PloS one, 11(8), e0160515. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0160515 Zanarini, M. C., Frankenburg, F. R., Reich, D. B., & Fitzmaurice, G. (2010). The 10‐year course of psychosocial functioning among patients with borderline personality disorder and axis II comparison subjects. Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica, 122(2), 103-109. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1600-0447.2010.01543.x

    44 min
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About

I'm Steff, psychologist & BPD Warrior. Join me for unfiltered stories, the latest research, & practical strategies that actually work. It’s real, raw, & honest talk about BPD, with just enough humor to make the hard stuff easier to hear. Whether you're navigating your own diagnosis, supporting someone who is, or just trying to understand, you're welcome here. Brought to you with love by Stephanie Schildknecht Note: Earlier episodes feature my wonderful co-host, Kerry Fisher. Her warmth & laughter remain part of this podcast's story, & I'm so grateful for the foundation we built together.

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