Navigating Toxic Relationships | Christian Relationship Counseling, Loneliness, Divorce, Narcissistic Abuse, Self-Esteem

Dr. Wendy Burchett, PsyD., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Biblical Relationship Strategist and Addiction Specialist
  • 5.0 (25)
  • Mental Health
  • Biweekly

***TOP 5% GLOBALLY RANKED PODCAST*** Are you unhappy in a toxic Christian relationship or marriage and stuck because you are constantly waiting for him to change? Are you confused trying to discern God’s will for your relationship? Do you feel like you have lost the ability to feel emotionally safe in your marriage? Have you lost yourself because you are so focused on how to make your relationship work?  I am so excited you are here! This podcast will help you create emotional safety, discover God’s will for your relationship, find yourself again, and choose faith over fear!  Hello Sisters, I am Dr. Wendy Burchett, doctor of psychology and licensed marriage and family therapist. I am also a Christ follower who spent 20 years trying to figure out how to find my way out of toxic relationships and rediscover my identity to create a life I loved.  I was stuck and confused about God’s will for me, waiting for others to change, hoping I was enough. I was afraid of staying and scared to death to leave. I finally realized if I wanted change I had to find safety for myself, quit waiting on others to change, and focus on building identity to move forward.  I created a method to get unstuck in relationships and begin to build an identity in Christ that worked for me, while giving me freedom from anxiety, fear and toxicity. I can’t wait to share it with you!  If you are ready to…  Understand God’s will for your relationship Take action without fear Discover your identity  Find emotional safety And create an awesome plan for your future..  Then this podcast is for YOU!  Grab some courage and your coffee! Let’s dive in! 

  1. 4d ago

    31| Tired of Feeling Numb? How Blocking Emotion Keeps You Stuck and 4 Steps to Move Forward

    Podcast is now in video format on Youtube! Check it out on myYoutube channel: Navigating Toxic Relationships.  Have you ever watched your kids laugh, or heard good news, and felt absolutely nothing? Is the calm you've been calling "peace" actually exhaustion in disguise? What if the reason you can't feel joy anymore is that you've been working so hard not to feel the pain? You've stopped crying. You've stopped arguing. You've stopped hoping. From the outside, it looks like calm. On the inside, it's flat and gray, and you can't find the dial to turn the color back up. In this episode, we're talking about numbness: what it really is, why it shows up when you're exhausted in body, mind, and spirit, and why it's one of the loudest warning signs your heart can send. Drawing on both Christian relationship counseling and a trauma-informed understanding of narcissistic abuse, we explore why you can't shut off pain without also shutting off joy, and how to begin feeling again. We'll talk about: What numbness actually is: the avoidance, or absence, of feeling, and why it makes sense as a survival strategy Why numbness is dangerous and what it says about your body, mind, and spirit The three jobs of emotion: helping you bond with people, connect with God, and make good decisions The hot stove illustration: why blocking the pain means you keep tolerating the harm Why you cannot block sadness and pain and still feel joy, and how this connects to the deep sadness, loneliness, and lost self-esteem many women feel in toxic relationship patterns What Pixar's Inside Out and Bing Bong can teach us about sadness Four steps to begin feeling again: face what keeps you numb, practice radical honesty, journal, and understand that your emotions are a gift from God Where God meets you in the numbness, with Psalm 34:18 and Ezekiel 36:26 Whether you're setting a boundary, seeking counseling, or even weighing divorce, this episode offers no verdict. It explains why a wise, faith-guided decision is so hard to make when you can't feel what you feel, and gives you permission to start feeling again at a pace that's safe. A note before you listen: This episode is educational, not diagnostic. If your numbness has lasted a long time, or you're struggling with depression, please connect with a licensed therapist or your doctor. If you're having thoughts of not wanting to be here, call or text 988 anytime. CONNECT: Drwendyburchett.com IG: @drwendyburchett Tiktok: @drwendyburchettpsyd Facebook: @drwnedyburchettpsyd

  2. Oct 22

    30 | Worried About Your Kids? 6 Ways to Protect Their Hearts Whether You Stay or Divorce

    Are you worried that whatever you decide about your marriage, your kids might be harmed? What do children need from you during a hard marriage or a hard divorce? Can you protect your kids' hearts even while your own is breaking? CONNECT: drwendyburchett.com join my email list!  When a relationship is painful, the question that keeps many mothers awake isn't only "what should I do?" It's "what is this doing to my kids?" This episode offers something practical you can start using today. The things your children need most from you are largely the same whether you stay and work toward change or walk through a divorce. Drawing on Christian relationship counseling and what developmental research tells us about children and conflict, this episode covers: Why children so often quietly decide that a parent's pain is somehow their fault, and how to reassure them in age-appropriate ways How to limit your children's direct exposure to conflict, even when the situation is urgent and the house is small Why your kids, even the older ones, shouldn't become your confidant or your messenger, and where you can take your own pain instead How stability, routine, and your own nervous system regulation protect your children more than you might expect What honest, age-appropriate truth sounds like, so your kids aren't left to fill the silence with their own fears Where God meets you as a parent in an exhausting season, with gentleness instead of judgment This episode speaks directly to you whether you're navigating the aftermath of narcissistic abuse, rebuilding self-esteemwhile still showing up for your children every day, carrying the loneliness of parenting through a hard season mostly alone, or walking through a divorce and wondering how to keep your kids' hearts safe through it. A note before you listen: This episode offers general education and encouragement, not individualized parenting or clinical advice. If you're concerned about your child's emotional wellbeing, please consider connecting with a licensed child or family therapist, and a Christian counselor for support of your own.

  3. Oct 21

    29 | 5 Steps to Stop Apologizing When You Haven't Done Anything Wrong.

    Have you ever walked into a conversation to talk about something that hurt you, and walked out apologizing? Why does raising a real concern so often end with you comforting the person who caused it? What if the confusion you feel after those conversations isn't a flaw in how you communicate, but a recognizable pattern with a name? You rehearsed what you were going to say. You waited for the right moment. And somewhere between your first sentence and the end of the conversation, your concern disappeared, and you were the one saying sorry. This episode names what just happened: a pattern researchers call DARVO, which stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. Once you can see its three moves, it gets much harder to be confused by them. Drawing on Christian relationship counseling and psychology research on how people respond when they're confronted about harm, this episode walks through: What DARVO is, where the term came from, and how each step (deny, attack, reverse victim and offender) sounds in a real conversation Why this pattern works especially well on empathic, conscientious women, and why that's not a weakness in you An honest look at the difference between ordinary defensiveness and a consistent pattern, so you don't have to read anyone's mind or diagnose anyone Five practical steps to stop ending up in the apology: name the pattern in the moment, return to your original concern, stop defending your character, pause or end the conversation, and bring in a second witness What Scripture says about the flipping of guilt and innocence, and why naming a pattern isn't unforgiveness This episode speaks directly to you whether you're untangling what might be narcissistic abuse, rebuilding self-esteemafter years of leaving hard conversations doubting yourself, sitting with the loneliness of being the only one who seems to see what happened, or wondering whether a pattern like this is something you could live with long-term, or part of what's bringing you to consider divorce. A note before you listen: DARVO is a description of what happens in a conversation, not a diagnosis of any person. This episode offers general education, not individualized therapy. The tools in this episode are meant for relationships where speaking up costs you emotionally. If raising concerns has ever led to threats or fear for your physical safety, please talk with the National Domestic Violence Hotline about a plan that fits your situation, and consider connecting with a licensed Christian relationship counselor.

  4. Oct 20

    28| Am I Broken Beyond Repair? Healing the Pattern Before You Love Again

    CONNECT: Join my email list at drwendyburchett.com! Have you ever been certain your newest relationship was completely different, only to end up in the same painful place? When a relationship falls apart, do you wonder whether you're the common denominator, and whether you're simply not made for love? What if the pattern was never proof that you're broken, but a sign of a wound that hasn't had a chance to heal yet? If you've moved from one painful relationship to the next, each time convinced this one was different, this episode is for you. It's a personal story about nearly three decades of toxic relationships, the darkest moment of believing "I am broken beyond repair," and the truth that finally changed everything: the pattern was never about being unlovable. It was about a deep hole in the heart, and a lack of loving and respecting myself the way God already loved me. Drawing on Christian relationship counseling and lived experience, this episode covers: Why a different face doesn't always mean a different pattern, and how what you're drawn to often says more about what's running underneath than about the person in front of you The lie of "something is very wrong with me," and the difference between a pattern that needs attention and a person who is unfit for love What was actually true underneath the repeating pattern, and why building a settled sense of your own worth has to come before your next relationship, not during it Practical steps for breaking the cycle: naming your pattern, getting outside help, learning what healthy actually feels like, and giving yourself real time Why God's posture toward you was never rebuke, but delight, even in the middle of a pattern you haven't broken yet This episode is written for you whether you're single, dating, or recovering from a relationship that ended painfully, and whether it's your first hard breakup or your tenth. If you're untangling the aftermath of narcissistic abuse, rebuilding self-esteem after years of choosing people who hurt you, sitting with the loneliness of believing everyone else got this right and you didn't, or wondering whether a future with real love, or even a future divorce and fresh start, is still possible for someone like you, this is a starting point for coming back to yourself. A note before you listen: This episode offers personal reflection and general encouragement, not a substitute for individual therapy. A pattern this long-standing often benefits from professional support, so please consider connecting with a licensed Christian counselor who can walk with you through your own story.   If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

  5. Oct 8

    27| Is Financial Fear Keeping You Stuck? 5 Small Steps to Help You Move Forward

    Have you ever stayed somewhere unhealthy simply because you couldn't picture how the math would work if you left? What if your financial fear isn't a personal failing — but the deliberate result of a pattern designed to keep you exactly where you are? Can you trust God with your finances without pretending practical planning doesn't matter? CONNECT: www.drwendyburchett.com Click this link to sign up for my newsletter for updates, and be among the first to know when my new website launches! Financial fear rarely gets the attention it deserves in conversations about relationships — but for many women, it's the single biggest practical barrier standing between them and a decision they already know they need to make. This episode names that fear honestly and offers real, concrete next steps, instead of empty reassurance. Drawing on Christian relationship counseling, this episode covers: Why financial fear runs so deep, and why it deserves to be taken seriously rather than treated as a lesser or less spiritual concern The important difference between genuine financial uncertainty and deliberate financial control — a key tactic within narcissistic abuse and coercive control — and why the solutions differ depending on which one you're facing Practical, small starting steps: knowing your actual numbers, building independent footing safely, and connecting with financial advocacy resources How to tell the difference between panic and planning when your mind keeps circling the same financial worries What it actually means to trust God as provider — without pretending that trust removes the need for practical action This episode speaks directly to you whether you're rebuilding self-esteem after years of financial dependency eroding your confidence, sitting with the loneliness of carrying this fear mostly alone, or weighing divorce while genuinely unsure how you'd survive financially on your own. A note before you listen: This episode offers general education and encouragement, not individualized financial or legal advice. If financial control is part of your relationship, please also consider connecting with a domestic violence organization's financial advocacy program for guidance specific to your situation.   If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

  6. Oct 6

    26| How Is My Relationship Impacting My Children: The Research!

    Have you ever stayed in a hard marriage specifically because you believed it was the more protective choice for your kids? What if the real question was never "divorce or stay," but something the research points to instead? Is it possible that the environment your children grow up inside matters more than which legal category their family falls into? "Staying together for the kids" is one of the most common, most understandable reasons women give for remaining in a hard marriage. This episode looks honestly at what the actual developmental research says — not to tell you what to decide, but to make sure the decision you do make is based on what's true, not just what feels intuitively protective. Drawing on Christian relationship counseling and real developmental psychology research, this episode covers: Where the "stay together for the kids" belief actually came from, and why the research behind it is more contested than most people realize What well-documented studies actually show about children in high-conflict intact families compared to children of divorce Why conflict exposure — not marital status itself — appears to be the real variable shaping children's wellbeing The honest, nuanced part of this picture: why divorce isn't automatically protective either, especially when conflict continues afterward What stays true for your children's hearts regardless of which path you're on This episode speaks directly to you whether you're navigating a relationship marked by narcissistic abuse, rebuilding your own self-esteem while trying to make the best decision for your family, sitting with the loneliness of carrying this decision largely alone, or standing right at the edge of a divorce decision, weighing what it will actually mean for your children. A note before you listen: This episode presents research findings and general education — it does not offer individualized guidance for your specific family. Please also consider connecting with a licensed Christian relationship counselor or family therapist for support specific to your situation. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

  7. Oct 1

    25| What If I Make the Wrong Decision? Divorce, Fear, and Trusting God With the Outcome

    Have you ever been afraid that both staying and leaving could turn out to be the wrong choice? What if "right decision" was never actually the right way to measure a choice this hard? Is it possible to trust God with an outcome you can't guarantee, without pretending the fear isn't real? This episode sits with one of the heaviest fears so many women carry in silence: the fear of making an irreversible mistake about their marriage. Whether you're leaning toward divorce or leaning toward staying, this fear shows up on both sides — and this episode doesn't try to resolve it with a quick answer. Instead, it offers a steadier way to think about decisions that carry real weight and no guarantees. Drawing on Christian relationship counseling, this episode walks through: Naming the specific fears bundled inside "what if I'm wrong" — regret, judgment, impact on children, and doubting your own capacity to decide something this large Why the "right decision versus wrong decision" frame may not be the most honest or helpful way to think about this choice What's actually within your control in a decision like this — and what genuinely isn't How to live with a decision that can't be fully undone, without requiring it to have been perfect What it actually means to trust God with an outcome, including a careful, honest look at Romans 8:28 — without the oversimplified promise that everything will simply feel good This episode speaks directly to you whether you're untangling a relationship shaped by narcissistic abuse, rebuilding self-esteem after years of doubting your own judgment, sitting with the loneliness of carrying this decision mostly alone, or standing right at the edge of deciding and terrified of getting it wrong in either direction. A note before you listen: This episode does not offer legal, pastoral, or individualized theological advice, and it does not tell you whether to stay or leave. Please seek your own pastor or Christian counselor for guidance specific to your situation.   If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

  8. Sep 28

    24| How Do I Know I'm Making the Right Decision About Divorce? Learning to Trust Yourself Again

    Are you trying to make a decision about divorce or about whether to leave your relationship but feel stuck with indecision?  Have you ever doubted your own gut simply because the person lying to you was kind about it? What if the "right decision" you've been searching for was never actually available to anyone? Have you ever realized, looking back, that you betrayed yourself by refusing to trust what you already knew? This is a personal, honest episode about learning to trust yourself again after years of self-doubt — doubt that grew not from cruelty, but from confusion, because kindness and honesty are not the same thing, and civility can exist right alongside deception. This episode walks through what it actually takes to rebuild decision confidence, without waiting for a certainty that was never coming. Drawing on both Christian relationship counseling and real lived experience, this episode covers: Why kindness and honesty are two separate questions — and why confusing them can keep you doubting your own instincts for years The myth of the "right decision," and why wise choices are made with incomplete information, not guaranteed outcomes Practical ways to rebuild real decision confidence, including learning to notice your body's signals as real information, not overreaction The difference between a fear-driven decision and a values-driven one Where God fits into decisions made without full certainty — and why your own intuition may be one of the ways He's already speaking to you This episode speaks directly to you whether you're untangling a relationship shaped by narcissistic abuse, rebuilding self-esteem after years of doubting your own perception, sitting with the loneliness of being the only one who sees the pattern clearly, or standing at the edge of a divorce decision without any guarantee of how it will turn out. A note before you listen: This episode offers personal reflection and general encouragement, not a substitute for individual therapy. If you're facing a significant decision, please also consider connecting with a licensed Christian relationship counselor.

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***TOP 5% GLOBALLY RANKED PODCAST*** Are you unhappy in a toxic Christian relationship or marriage and stuck because you are constantly waiting for him to change? Are you confused trying to discern God’s will for your relationship? Do you feel like you have lost the ability to feel emotionally safe in your marriage? Have you lost yourself because you are so focused on how to make your relationship work?  I am so excited you are here! This podcast will help you create emotional safety, discover God’s will for your relationship, find yourself again, and choose faith over fear!  Hello Sisters, I am Dr. Wendy Burchett, doctor of psychology and licensed marriage and family therapist. I am also a Christ follower who spent 20 years trying to figure out how to find my way out of toxic relationships and rediscover my identity to create a life I loved.  I was stuck and confused about God’s will for me, waiting for others to change, hoping I was enough. I was afraid of staying and scared to death to leave. I finally realized if I wanted change I had to find safety for myself, quit waiting on others to change, and focus on building identity to move forward.  I created a method to get unstuck in relationships and begin to build an identity in Christ that worked for me, while giving me freedom from anxiety, fear and toxicity. I can’t wait to share it with you!  If you are ready to…  Understand God’s will for your relationship Take action without fear Discover your identity  Find emotional safety And create an awesome plan for your future..  Then this podcast is for YOU!  Grab some courage and your coffee! Let’s dive in! 

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