NARCISSISTIC ABUSE RECOVERY | Narcissist, Co-Parenting, Grey Rock Method, Boundaries, Healing, Toxic Relationship

Christy Jade - Narcissistic Abuse Coach, Grey Rock Coach , Gaslighting Expert, No Contact Mentor

Healing Tools for Women Are you feeling lost after breaking free from a toxic relationship? Are you afraid you will get sucked back in, whether it is with the same narcissist or a new one? Are you ready to finally live in peace? In this podcast, you will find healing methods and coping solutions to set you free from narcissistic abuse and its effects. My mission is to equip you to become strong and free through confidence building, proven healing methods and finding peace. If you’re ready to say yes to thriving after abuse and stop chasing everything that hasn’t worked for a plan that will- you’re in the right place! Hey, I’m Christy. A mom, wife and a ruthless narcissist avoider! For years of my life, I went to therapists that didn’t understand narcissism, read generic abuse recovery books and tried things that didn’t help me truly disconnect and break the cycle of narcissistic abuse. I wasted money on tools that didn’t give me lasting results. I finally realized that if I was going to truly disconnect and heal, I had to understand narcissists’ minds and the effects on their victims. After years of education and endless conversations with victims of narcissistic abuse, I created a perfect plan to not just disconnect fully from the current narcissists in my life, but to avoid getting sucked in by future ones, while creating healthy boundaries and healing from the effects of abuse. A life of thriving, not just surviving. And I am ready to share it all with you! If you are a woman ready to finally find a clear cut plan to stop the cycle and heal from narcissistic abuse -effective solutions that have results that are undeniable: like a peaceful night’s sleep, decreased overwhelm, and unshakable confidence, then this podcast is for you! Grab that mocha latte, it’s time to dive in. Wanna work together 1:1, queen? Grab your first power call for mindset and somatic healing now: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ FREE Pocket Guide to Boundaries: https://christyjade.kit.com/ce79ea9250 Have trouble setting or keeping boundaries and want to go deeper? This go at your own pace course is just for you! Grab your (Guilt free!) Empowered Boundaries Course here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Let’s hang out! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/ChristyJade TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercechristyjade Email me! fiercemamac@gmail.com

  1. 16H AGO

    A 5-Minute Practice to Quiet Self-Doubt After Narcissistic Abuse

    When self-doubt creeps in—“Did I overreact? Am I being too much?”—it’s easy to spiral. In this mini-episode, I’ll guide you through a simple 5-minute somatic practice to calm your body, quiet the guilt loop, and anchor back into your truth. 👑 Resources & Links Mentioned in this Episode ✨ Freebie: Grab your Boundaries Pocket Guide → https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 💻 Coaching: Work with me 1:1 to reclaim your peace & power: Reclaiming You Session (90-min) → 00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to Take a breath Queen, this one's for you. Hey Queen, welcome to your Thrive in five, your quick reset to calm the chaos and reclaim your sparkle. Yes, it looks so good on you. Alright, if you caught Tuesday's episode, which was called Still Doubting Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse, here's how to break the cycle. Then we talked about why the narcissist trains you to question yourself and how to rebuild that self-trust. Well, today I've got a somatic practice you can use anytime that doubt creeps in, think of it as a five minute body reset to quiet that guilt loop and anchor back into your truth. Alright, so step one, name the doubt. Start by simply naming the thought or question running in your head. (01:07) Maybe it's, did I overreact or am I being too much? Say it out loud or whisper it if you must or scream it on the top of a hill. Naming it gives it less power. It stops being this swirl that's on loop in your head and becomes something you can actually observe. And we do a lot of this in somatic healing. If you've done sessions with me, we can beat the observer of things, which helps heal them. It puts a light on them, helps heal them, helps us move in a different direction, have a different perspective. So even just naming it is a step in the right direction. So number two, you can do a body. You can place one hand on your chest or stomach and take a slow grounding breath in through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. This is a halo breath. And ask yourself, what is my body feeling right now? Is it tightness? Is it fear? Is it calm? What's going on in there? This pulls you into the present moment instead of letting your mind spin in the past, right? So it's that present moment, body check-in. Step three, the truth anchor. Okay, so here's where we shift the energy. Repeat after me or you can make it your own. If I set this boundary, it's because I needed peace. (02:43) Peace is not wrong, right? Let's say that last part again. Peace is not wrong, it's right, okay? And you keep breathing slowly as you repeat it. Letting nervous system soak in its truth. You can swap in your own phrase like protecting myself is love, or my feelings are valid. That's a huge one that we really need to reiterate to ourselves after going through abuse. Alright, then step four, a visual reset. So look around the room and find one comforting thing to rest your eyes on. It could be a candle, a favorite mug, a photo that makes you smile. I have a palm tree in my bedroom and that is my favorite place to focus when I'm trying to do a visual reset. I love palm trees, I love the beach. It just brings me to that happy space. So find whatever happy, comforting object you can and let your gaze stay in there. (03:54) Stay there until your body softens. So just keep staring. Might feel weird at first, but just let your gaze stare and eventually your body will soften, you will relax more. Your nervous system is focusing on this comforting thing, this comforting feeling. And it's starting to say, I'm safe. I'm safe in this moment. I'm safe with my palm tree. So look, the narcissist may have trained you to doubt yourself. Yeah, they did. But every time you pause, you breathe, you anchor in your truth, not their narrative. You're retraining your body to trust you again. So you can practice this anytime that your self-doubt sneaks in and save this episode. These little thrive in fives are great to just play. Any time you're having spinning out in your head or your body feels tense, any mind, body, spirit, deflation is a great time to just come back to one of your saved episodes. (05:14) That's why I try to make them nice and quick, but effective. So if you Miss Tuesday's full episode, definitely you want to go back and listen to that because pairing these insights with the somatic support is how you really break the cycle. I talk about the mindset and the somatic side. So we do a lot of the mindset and discussing the why's and how's and more logistical stuff on those Tuesday episodes. And then Thursday it's all about the body because the body remembers. So we want to rewire, reset and just chill the hell out and sparkle. Alright, so you guys, you're not broken. You're not damaged. You're that solid gold block that just got a bunch of shit poured all over you, a bunch of dirt and mud, and we're clearing it off. We're clearing it off, right? We're resetting that nervous system, which is doable. (06:17) And if you want to go on deep transformation, imagine where you'll be in a year from now if you actually do the deeper work. And that doesn't mean it has to be really heavy. I mean, if you work with me, I make it fun. So maybe it depends who you work with. But this one-on-one somatic work, I mean the mindset work's great. The somatic work is mind blowing. It is amazing. And it's changed my life. It's changed my client's life. And if you want your life to uplevel in a way you couldn't imagine where you actually can find peace, if you feel like, I can't even imagine what that feels like, believe it baby, because I was where you are and now I'm here and it feels so much better and calmer and that peace and I feel like I'm more in control of everything, my life, my reactions. (07:17) It's like instead of reacting to life, you are in control of it. Your mind's not spinning and thinking about what this person says or how to do this or did I do that? Questioning yourself. You get this confidence that you've never had and I really want that for you. So if you want to do a deeper transformation, go click the link under on my show notes where it says how to work with me, that one-on-one work there. I also do have a boundaries course I will post, and I have a free boundaries guide if you have not grabbed that. So all the stuff, all the things are in my show notes, so go check it out and I just, you deserve peace, so I want you to have it. And if that's working with me, great, let's do the dang thing. And if it's with someone else, that's great too. (08:05) But imagine a year from now if you don't do any of the transformative work, right? These episodes obviously are great and they help, that's why I do them. But if you want that life changing, mind blowing shift, you got to put in the work. And it might seem overwhelming, but I'm going to promise you what's more overwhelming is what you're doing right now, spinning out in your head, stressing out. Your body is reacting. I'm sure whether you got knots in your stomach, stressed out, neck jaw, maybe you are having insomnia, maybe you're overeating, undereating, all the things, right? So we want you to be happy and balanced. Wouldn't that feel fun? Yes. Okay, go check out my show notes and I hope to work with you soon.

    9 min
  2. 2D AGO

    Still Doubting Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse? Here’s How to Break the Cycle

    🎙️ Still Doubting Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse? Here’s How to Break the Cycle Are you stuck second-guessing yourself, even after leaving the narcissist? In this episode, I’ll show you how to break the guilt loop and start trusting yourself again. 👑 Resources & Links Mentioned in this Episode ✨ Freebie: Grab your Boundaries Pocket Guide here → https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 💻 1:1 Coaching: Ready to go deeper? Work with me privately: Reclaiming You Session (90-min deep dive) → 00:00): Ever catch yourself replaying arguments in your head, wondering if you overreacted or feeling guilty for protecting your peace. That's not because you're broken. It's because narcissistic abuse trains you to doubt yourself. So today I'm going to help you break that cycle, rebuild that self-trust and step into the peace you deserve. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. (01:07) So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. Alright, queen, let's get real. One of the biggest wounds after narcissistic abuse is the constant questioning of yourself. You say no to someone and then you lie awake at night thinking, was that too harsh? Should I have said yes? You might block their number and then feel a rush of guilt. Just this overwhelmingly off feeling in your body. You're not alone. Here's why. Narcissists actually condition you to doubt yourself through their gaslighting. If you don't know what gaslighting is, it's when they make you question your own memory, your own feelings, or even your sanity. So this is a real thing, and over time you start second guessing everything, even after you've left them. (02:19) The echo of that doubt, it still lingers, but let me remind you that echo, it's not true. This is not your truth. It's programming that we can undo and we can rewrite. So let's talk about the guilt aspect. A lot of you in my community and my Facebook group, whatever, if you're not in that, by the way, go to the show notes and totally click the link and join us. Said guilt is what holds you back. You're finally setting a boundary or you go no contact and that wave of guilt hits. Here's the truth though, guilt doesn't always mean you're wrong. I'm going to say that again. Guilt does not always mean you're wrong. Sometimes it's just an old alarm system going off because you did something new and different than the old you would've done to stay safe, right? This new you is feeling weird doing something different even though it's the right thing to do and it's okay to do and you shouldn't feel guilty. (03:31) That old self did it to feel safe. So you are comfortable in that feeling, right? In the saying yes, in the people pleasing and the walking on eggshells, and now you're like, I got to stop doing this. So we're not doing it. And your body's just taking a little time to catch up. Okay? So think about it. If you were raised or conditioned to believe your worth was in pleasing others or this specific person, then standing up for yourself will feel unnatural at first, right? That makes sense. But that guilt is a sign that you are breaking these maybe even generational patterns. That's some bad ass shit, queen. Okay? You are rewriting your story. That guilt shows you are changing for the better. So the next time guilt shows up, instead of asking, am I a bad person? Try asking yourself this. Am I protecting my peace? Am I acting in alignment with my healing? And that's okay to do. Absolutely. It's not wrong. It's actually right. It's the right thing to do is to have peace and love and be peace and love and heal these wounds we have, right? Flip that script. (05:00) So here's where we start breaking the cycle for good, rebuilding yourself. Trust this. A lot of you have this issue I did too, right? Rebuilding after you've gone through abuse and been betrayed. Okay? So there's three key steps you can do. There may be more, but these are some good starters. Okay? Number one, a daily check-in. So one of the tools I swear by, and you may have heard it already, I talk about it a lot, I love it. It's simple, but really, really successful is a hell yes, hell no list. So you can write down what feels good in your body and life and what drains you. Writing it down is huge. Don't just think about it, write it down. When you make choices from that list, you start training your brain to trust your own signals again. So if you're writing what's really working, be very honest in this exercise, what's really working the hell yes side and then what is not working and then making a decision based off either side. (06:16) It can be like the hell yes list. Maybe you have been making occasional even self-care going to get your nails done or taking a relaxing bath. You could even do something to that effect. Adding more of that, right? Making that choice going, Hey, I know that makes me happy when I do that, so why don't I try to do more? And then you'll notice, of course you will end up feeling better and better. You take even more steps to exercise a little bit every day, get your body moving, whatever it is, you'll know that you trusted yourself enough to give yourself more of that self-care. Then on the other side, which I feel like a lot of my clients and myself, when I started, I loved getting those hell nos off the list. So making choices to get rid of the hell nos. One of mine was even just let's say, so look, I cut a narcissist out of my life and then I realized I had a couple friends that were also controlling. (07:26) Maybe I won't go as far as narcissists, but there were traits, but also just controlling, manipulative. I kind of felt like I to, I was almost afraid of them in a way. I had to answer the phone. So one of my big things for me, my hell no, was I feel like I always have to answer to people on the phone in general. So I'm going to stop doing that. Do you know what a lifesaver that was? And I realized I was in touch. I paid attention to my body, listened to my body, like that visceral reaction when the phone would ring and I'd be like, oh God, but I'm doing this, but I have to answer. Or they might get mad at me or this or that. So paying attention to my body, saying, my body's telling me it speaks to you. So listen to your body. (08:12) My body's telling me that this isn't healthy, that I'm making myself at a beck and call to people. So that helped me. I mean, there's many, many more things on the list that helps you build the self-trust. But that even shows, right? You can start to be like, oh, I listen to my body and now look, I feel so much better. And that reinforces your self-trust. And that's a small example, but hopefully you get it. Okay. Number two, nervous system regulation. So again, listening to that body, the nervous system is a very big symbol of how we are mentally, physically, and spiritually. So when fear or doubt pops up, your body doesn't always know the difference between actual danger and discomfort or what it thinks is danger. So a quick grounding practice can put your hand over your heart, take a slow breath in through your nose, out your mouth. (09:18) It's called a halo breath and name one thing you know is true right now. What is true right now. And this helps your body calm down. So you can tell the difference between fear and intuition. And I teach you all my clients when we do one-on-one work, I teach you all of this stuff and we customize these exercises for you. So if you're like, that sounds great, but I don't really know what to say or do, we can work on the hell yes, hell no list together for you to really get clear for foundation. And then we also do these somatic healing exercises together. And then you get these tools that you can take on your own as well. So always look on ways to work with me one-on-one in the link in my show notes. Alright, number three, redefine normal. So one of my clients shared about not even knowing what a normal relationship looks like after her abuse. And I hear this, this is not the first time, but it's something I heard more recently again, and it's a good reminder. So let me say this. Normal doesn't mean perfect, but normal can mean, should mean safe, respectful, and consistent. And maybe you want to write those down. So if you are entering a new relationship in the future, or maybe you're in one now, depending where you are in your journey, safe, respectful, consistent. (11:02) If someone messes up, they apologize and they don't just apologize, okay? We're not going to take just words anymore. They must follow up with a changed behavior. So the people who apologize and give lip service but no changes next, and they don't give excuses, they might give a reason, but not excuse it, not be accountable. They show accountability and they make the changes. So that's a good start as the baseline. Okay? Safe, respectful, no name calling. There shouldn't be yelling. I will tell you right now, do my husband and I ever disagree? Yeah, we're literally opposites. He's an introverted, logical, just solid rock, right? I'm an A, DD, extroverted, wild, hyper nugget. (12:11) I am extra all around. Somehow he married me and we really balanced each other out. But do w

    17 min
  3. AUG 28

    How to Protect Your Peace from a Narcissist in 5 Minutes

    Narcissists hate your peace—because when you’re calm, their control slips away. That’s why they poke and prod the moment you start to feel steady. In this Thrive in Five, I’ll share: ✨ Why your calm threatens their power ✨ A quick somatic reset you can do in minutes ✨ How to guard your peace like the crown jewel it is 👑 📥 Free Gift: The Boundaries Pocket Guide Want to stop second-guessing yourself and finally set boundaries that stick without the guilt spiral? Download Christy’s free Boundaries Pocket Guide — designed to help you reclaim your peace and protect your power after narcissistic abuse. ✨ Grab it here → https://christyjade.kit.com/ce79ea9250 🛠️ Ready to Go Deeper in Your Healing? Whether you’re newly out or years into recovery, support changes everything. Here are 3 powerful ways to work with Christy: ✅ Reclaiming You: 1:1 Clarity & Intake Session This 90-minute session is for the woman who’s serious about healing and wants to explore working together in a deeper way. It’s not designed as a one-off quick fix—but rather a powerful first step for those considering the monthly or 3-month coaching containers. If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure which path to take next, this session is for you. 💻 Book here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ ✅ 1-Month Private Coaching Container Includes weekly coaching, somatic tools, and in-between support to help you regulate, reset, and start rebuilding trust with yourself. 💻 Learn more: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ ✅ 3-Month Transformational Coaching Package This is the most supportive and spacious container I offer. We’ll dive deep into emotional healing, nervous system support, boundary work, and personal empowerment so you can rise fully in your peace and power. 💻 Apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Welcome to your Thrive in five. This is your five minute pause from the chaos, the guilt trips, and the narcissist, endless drama bombs. All right, so take a breath queen. This one is for you all tied up in a little bow just for you. Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to Take a breath Queen. This one's for you. Today. We are going to talk about why the narcissists hate your piece a little bit, but more importantly, how to guard it quickly. We're going to do a little somatic tooling today. If you want to go deeper in, if you did not already listen to Tuesday's episode, please go listen to that as well. And you could save this and come back to it. Maybe listen to that first, or if you just have a few minutes, definitely try out this tool and save the other podcast because they go hand in hand every Tuesday, Thursday. (01:04) We've got two little buddy episodes. Okay, so here's the thing. When you're calm and you're at peace, right? And you might be getting there right now, you might be feeling it, but when you're truly there, you are untouchable. You're unshakeable. Your nervous system stops reacting to their chaos and their power then slips through their fingers. So if you're starting to feel emboldened, you're starting to feel independent, you're starting to feel like you are getting out or are out of their web. Finally, they will show up. That's why they poke, they prod, they stir up the conflict because you're finding peace and they don't like it. Again, I touched on that a lot more deeply in Tuesday's episode, but here's what they don't know. Peace can be practiced and it can be guarded. So this is something you can absolutely get, even if you're not totally there yet, you can practice it and then you can guard it and maintain it. (02:19) And obviously working with me one-on-one is the best way to do that. I'll always put my how to work with me one-on-one options in my show notes. That is going to be your best way to get the transformation. I mean, hey, I'm going to pat myself on my back. These episodes, these podcasts, they are great. They got some good tools. I really try to give a lot of free information, but I cannot talk to each one of you in a customized way through this podcast, which I would love to do, but I can't do it. So that's where the one-on-one real true, deep, long lasting transformation works where we do somatic healing, mindset work, everything, right? So today's tool, we'll do a quick nervous system reset right now. So step one, you're going to place both feet firmly on the floor, right? You get grounded, baby, you look good, grounded as you inhale, imagine breathing in the calm. (03:20) And you could put a color. I love to make a golden light. Anything calm for me? You could make it light blue. You could make a no color as long as you're feeling calm when you're breathing it in. So the inhales, you're going to do that. And when you exhale, you're going to imagine sending chaos, that chaotic feeling out of your body, whatever that feels like, looks like it could be. You have tension and draw, sending that out. I like to shoot it up out of my crown chakra. I imagine that going straight up and out. Get the hell out of here, right? So you can do two breaths like this in through the nose and out through wherever you want to shoot it out. Okay? Step two. Then we make gentle fists with both hands. And you're going to squeeze for five seconds and then you're going to release. And the key is to really focus and feel the difference between when you squeeze, squeeze, feel the tension, right? Feel what that feels like. It's tense, kind of hurts, not so comfortable and release. What does that feel like? Lighter. Ah, peaceful. That's your body. Remembering it as a choice. You have a choice of squeezing, you have a choice of letting go. Okay? Number three, place one hand over that little heart, little beater of yours and repeat after me. My piece is mine. I don't hand it over and then say it twice more. (05:19) Your piece is yours. You get to choose. Are you going to give that to this mofo? Heck no. Not anymore. No ma'am. There's a new queen in town. Okay? So these are some simple steps, but every time you practice these steps together, you are training your body to stay loyal to you, not to what? To their chaos. When they have you under their thumb, you are loyal to them and their chaos. We don't have time for that anymore. No, we don't have the energy or the desire. So you're going to start staying loyal to you and your peace. Okay? Your piece is sacred, and that might sound hokey or dramatic, but it is. Your piece is your lifeline. Am I right? Am I right? Yeah. So you have to guard it. You have to guard it. No one else is going to guard your peace. (06:21) Like you will guard it when you're ready. Are you ready? Good. If you're ready, let's work together. Let's get real ready. Link in the notes. Alright, that's your Thrivent five. Go sip your tea, adjust your beautiful shiny crown. And remember this too, guys, okay? The calmer you are, the more peace you are, the less control they'll have. The calmer you are, the less control they will have. And isn't that what we want? So when you feel triggered or you want to just bite back at something, they said, remember, any attention or any energy you give them gives them control. (07:07) That's not what we want. What do you want? You want peace. Don't worry about what they have and don't have. And you got to now that you know you're going to tell them off, or you don't need to do any of that, you win when you have peace. So always think, is this going to give me more peace? My reaction? And as you know, the Gray Rock Method is the biggest peace giver if you have to deal with a narcissist, gray rock method. I have two episodes, I believe on that. Okay? So you guys have a beautiful rest of your week. And don't forget, every Tuesday is the normal episode and every Thursday is the Thrive in five Somatic Tools to Accompany Tuesday's episodes. So again, all my information will always be in the notes, how to work with me, my email, if you have questions about anything or you just want to reach out, say hello. I love it. I love you guys. I love getting notes from you. And then anything related to the podcast, if I mention another episode, I'll usually try to link it in there. And always the transcript is there as well. If you miss something or you listening and you want to just go read about it. Alright, I'll see you the next episode. Smooches and Deuces, keep that chin up, babe.

    9 min
  4. AUG 26

    Why Narcissists Hate Your Peace (And How to Guard It Anyway)

    💬 Episode Description (Show Notes): Why do narcissists hate your peace so much? In this episode, Christy breaks down why your calm threatens their control, the sneaky ways they try to shake it, and simple tools to guard your peace like the crown jewel it is. ✨ 📥 Free Gift: The Boundaries Pocket Guide Want to stop second-guessing yourself and finally set boundaries that stick without the guilt spiral? Download Christy’s free Boundaries Pocket Guide — designed to help you reclaim your peace and protect your power after narcissistic abuse. ✨ Grab it here → https://christyjade.kit.com/ce79ea9250 🛠️ Ready to Go Deeper in Your Healing? Whether you’re newly out or years into recovery, support changes everything. Here are 3 powerful ways to work with Christy: ✅ Reclaiming You: 1:1 Clarity & Intake Session This 90-minute session is for the woman who’s serious about healing and wants to explore working together in a deeper way. It’s not designed as a one-off quick fix—but rather a powerful first step for those considering the monthly or 3-month coaching containers. If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure which path to take next, this session is for you. 💻 Book here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ ✅ 1-Month Private Coaching Container Includes weekly coaching, somatic tools, and in-between support to help you regulate, reset, and start rebuilding trust with yourself. 💻 Apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ ✅ 3-Month Transformational Coaching Package This is the most supportive and spacious container I offer. We’ll dive deep into emotional healing, nervous system support, boundary work, and personal empowerment so you can rise fully in your peace and power. 💻 Learn more: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ TRANSCRIPT         Why does it feel like every time you finally get calm, the narcissist in your life stirs up that drama? Today I'm sharing why your piece is such a threat to them and the exact tools you can use to guard it like the crown jewel. It is. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice and how to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun.   So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. All right, so why do these narcissists hate our peace so much? First of all, they survive on control, drama, and emotional chaos. So your piece means they are losing their influence on you, right? They want to shake you up. They want to keep you chaotic in your brain. So think of it like this. Your piece is evidence that you know longer need them. Again, your piece is evidence that you no longer need them and that terrifies them. Their ego, you know how big their egos are, okay? Their ego feeds on reaction. So that could be angers, tears defending yourself, but silence and calm.   That starves them. It starves their ego, it starves that needing to be fed that they have, right? So how did they attack your piece? You probably know, but we'll go through a few little examples. First, there's the drama bombs, right? The sudden emergencies, which we talked about last week. Even with the texting, they exaggerate things, say they're emergencies. Things are important when you're finally relaxing. Of course the text barrages, right? So they're endless messages when you've gone no contact or gray rock. So if you haven't blocked 'em and you can still see you just aren't responding or writing to them at all, you could definitely end up with a lot of messages. They get very compulsive about it. Basically desperate to get a response from you, right? The guilt trips, this could be you've changed or you don't care about family or you don't care about whatever anymore, right?   These guilt trips, when they see a change to make you feel bad about that change, by the way, don't feel bad about that change, right? And the lovely smear campaigns. So this is stirring others up against you when you won't react to them directly. So this is designed to pull you out of calm because in peace you can think clearly. They don't like that because clear thinking means their mask can slip, you can outsmart them. We have a podcast on how to outsmart narcissists. It can be done not when you're under their spell, not when you're in their control. But when you are coming out of that, when you are on the other side, you can think clearly, you think like a new person and therefore you can see beyond their mask. In other words, they don't have that control. So how do you guard your piece?   Alright, here's one tool, the breathe in anchor tool, okay? This is grounding. This is feet flat on the ground, deep breath in, slower breath out, focusing on your breathing and say to yourself, this is one of my favorite phrases in the world and we're adding it with a little breath work right now because it such a joyous combo. Alright? You've probably heard it if you haven't, write it down. Not my circus, not my monkeys. They are not your circus. It's not your monkeys, it's not your drama, right? Oh, disconnect yourself from it. Breathing. You could do halo breaths in through the nose, out through the mouth. You can repeat this over and over to empower you more and more. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Alright? Number two, tech boundaries. You can mute your notifications if you can't block them or don't want to. For whatever reason.   You can use the do not disturb mode and remind yourself just because they message, I want you to hear this, all of you in the back. Just because they message does not mean you must answer. It doesn't. There isn't urgency unless there is a life situation or your child needs to be picked up immediately. Something like that. Other than that, pause that mofo, mute it, look at it, put it in a drawer. Go take a breather. Go anchor your feet down and scream about circus and monkeys. Alright, number three, energetic boundaries. Let's picture a lovely crown of light on your head. Maybe it could, I don't know, look like a golden crown. Okay? Protecting your mind from their words. So really, if you can't visualize, just think it. I know some of you aren't visual, I'm very visual, so it's hard for me to relate to that part.   But however you are able to create something in your mind, think of it as there is a protection there. There's a barrier. And if you are visual, imagine it being a golden crown, golden light, whatever around your head, full of peace, protecting from their b******t and visualize or think of their chaos bouncing off that energy field, bouncing off the clickety clank of your crown. Okay? Yeah, those energetic boundaries. And four, permission to rest. You do not need to defend your peace to anybody, okay? You don't need to defend it to anyone. You don't need to explain it. You don't need to have a second thought about it. You deserve to have peace. That's it. That's your right. It is your right to have peace. Even if you've had chaos your whole damn life or your whole damn relationship with this person, it's time that ends.   You want peace, you got it. And guarding your peace, it's not selfish. They're going to guilt trip you. They're going to make all the reasons, either it's hurt them or it's hurt someone else, right? Oh, you're different and oh, no one likes you. Now who knows? They say it all. It is survival for you. I give you full permission for you to rest. Rest your mind, rest your body. Protect yourself. Okay? So your peace is power. And maybe you're not used to having that power or maybe you're starting to feel it come back, but that's the proof that you're healing, that you're breaking free, that their grip, their terror grip is gone. And that's exactly why narcissists hate it and exactly why you must guard it. Okay, let's say that again. It's exactly why narcissists hate it, which is exactly why you must guard it.   Okay? So if you want more tools like this, if you have not gotten my boundaries pocket guide, that's always linked in my show notes, goodbye Gil Boundaries, okay? And if you want to go deeper, if you really want transformation, and my schedule, I will tell you guys is blowing up right now. So if you want to get in, act quickly, click the link and we will have our first one-on-one session. So I either do it where we have one, one-on-one, which will be two further, basically like an intake session. It's an hour and a half kind of deep dive. And then we'll go into whatever program you want to sign up for. And there is the monthly program, there's the three month program. If you already know you want one of those, you can just sign up directly for that and we can use your first session as an intake. So basically you get a little discount because we'll go extra on your first one hour session. We'll go longer than that since you're signing up ahead of time for a month or three months, one month at a time. It's great if you're tiptoeing in and you're like, yeah, I know I want to transform. I know I'm ready to do this work, but you're just like a little, huh, three months, that's like you are going to be unrecognizable in three months in a g

    16 min
  5. AUG 21

    How to Handle Narcissist Texts in Minutes (Without Losing Your Peace)

    Narcissists love sending ‘urgent’ texts to hijack your peace. In this episode, Christy explains why they do it and how to shut it down fast—so you can stay calm, confident, and in control 📥 Free Gift: The Boundaries Pocket Guide Want to stop second-guessing yourself and finally set boundaries that stick without the guilt spiral? Download Christy’s free Boundaries Pocket Guide — designed to help you reclaim your peace and protect your power after narcissistic abuse. ✨ Grab it here → https://christyjade.kit.com/ce79ea9250 🛠️ Ready to Go Deeper in Your Healing? Whether you’re newly out or years into recovery, support changes everything. Here are 3 powerful ways to work with Christy: ✅ Reclaiming You: 1:1 Clarity & Intake Session 💻 Book here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ ✅ 1-Month Private Coaching Container 💻 Apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ ✅ 3-Month Transformational Coaching Package 💻 Learn more: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 🔗 Related Episodes You’ll Love: 🎧 Still Attached to the Narcissist? This Deep Cord Cutting Practice Can Help 👉 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-attached-to-the-narcissist-this-deep-cord/id1662241353?i=1000708306120 🎧 Thrive in 5: Still Energetically Tied to the Narcissist? Cut the Cord With This Quick Practice 👉 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-energetically-tied-to-the-narcissist-cut-the/id1662241353?i=1000706789155 ✨ Follow Christy on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/   TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you. All right, queen, let's talk about that moment. Your phone dings and suddenly your peace is gone. It's the narcissist and the message is urgent. Or at least they say it is. Maybe it's call me now or it's an emergency, or it's important answer or even as low as the kids need. You sound familiar? Well, here's what you need to know. Those out of nowhere or urgent type texts are rarely about real emergencies. They're about control. A narcs favorite word. Alright? So a narcissist wants you to yank out of your calm, especially if you're doing well, you're moving on. Ooh, that irks them, right? They want to spike your anxiety and test if they still have access to you, if you're still going to take the bait, if you're still going to respond. (01:22) I always say, don't take the bait, keep it very simple. Gray rock method. We talked about that on Tuesday's episode, speaking of which, this episode is related to Tuesday's episode, which was all about these texts, and today is just a quick tool to handle them, basically handling those fake emergency texts. So step one, pause. Do not reply instantly. And we mentioned this in Tuesdays, but that's a quick note, right? Just pause. The pause puts you back in the driver's seat. So when you feel like stressed out, when you read it, take a breath and pause. Two, check the facts. Is it truly urgent? If it's not about your kid's safety or something, life or death, it can wait. Step three, respond and don't react. Keep it short, neutral and business-like that. Gray rock method. So an example, and I go over this all more in depth than Tuesday's episode if you didn't listen, so that will be in the show notes. (02:37) Example is noted. I'll handle it when I'm able to, period. Okay? No overexplaining anything. No getting emotional. Keep it to the basics. To the facts. Okay? So the next time your phone lights up with a fake emergency from your least favorite narc, remember, you are not at their beck and call, okay? Your piece is what's important. Your piece is what's urgent, and you decide when and how you engage. Girl, you got your damn power back, right? That's what we're doing here. Shining our crowns, getting our power right? So if you want more scripts or strategies, how to navigate all this stuff, grab my free Boundaries pocket guide as a start, and then if you want to work one-on-one and do customize scripts, customize strategies, that's where the real transformations happen. I always have the ways to work with me one-on-one in my show notes, so check it out. (03:46) And you can also join my free Facebook community with other ladies like you. I drop some truth bombs out there and I always put the podcast episodes. Sometimes I'll do some videos. So definitely go join that community. What else? I guess that's it. That's it. It's pretty, this might be my shortest episode ever. How crazy. Wow. Under four minutes. All right, give me a high five through the screen. Give yourself a little queen hug and I'll see you in the next episode. Don't forget to follow this podcast too, and help me help more people. Love.

    5 min
  6. AUG 19

    Why Narcissists Text You Out of Nowhere (And How to Shut It Down)

    Your phone dings. It’s the narcissist. “Emergency.” “Call me now.” “Why are you ignoring me?” These out-of-nowhere texts aren’t random — they’re tactics to pull you back into chaos. In this episode, Christy shares: 🔥 Why narcissists drop “urgent” messages 📱 The most common manipulations (fake emergencies, guilt trips, drama bombs) 🚪 How to shut it down without losing your peace ✨ Resources + Ways to Work With Me 👑 Free Boundaries Pocket Guide Grab your quick-start guide to boundaries that actually stick → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ Monthly Package → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ 3-Month Transformational Coaching → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Email me with questions: fiercemamac@gmail.com 🎧 Free Private Support Facebook Group Come join the community and connect with other women who get it → https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 💻 Self-Paced Empowered Boundaries Course 10 modules, scripts, meditations + lifetime access → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Grey Rock Method Episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-grey-rock-method-how-to-deal-with-a-narcissist/id1662241353?i=1000648879776 TRANSCRIP Speaker 1 (00:02): Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christy wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up. (01:01) Welcome back to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery. I'm Christie. This is your guide to reclaiming peace, protecting your sex ass power and thriving, not just surviving after narcissistic abuse. And today we're going to talk about one of the sneakiest and most triggering tactics. Narcissists love to use. I've been through it myself. The random out of nowhere texts, if you're co-parenting, you've lived this probably a hundred times. If you're not, you may still deal with it. Pretty sure you have the Hoover text. These little attempts are sometimes big to reel you back in. But either way, the goal for them is the same, to control you, to control your focus and hijack your emotions. So why do they do this? Why? It's mind blowing Because we don't think like them. So it's very hard for us to understand why would someone do this? The lengths they will go and the things they will do, it's not cool. (02:10) So let's break down the psychology first. Narcissists crave what? Control. That's our biggest thing I talk about all the time, right? I should drink every time I hear myself say the word control on this podcast and supply. So they want control and they want supply, right? Feeding their ego, feeding, grabbing your energy, whatever. So when you've created this distance, that loss of control burns them. So they're burning up the fact that you've created a distance in the first place. We kind of know that the random texting is a way to test. Can I still get her attention? Even if it's bad attention, can I still spark that reaction? Right? So it's never about the communication. It's not really about whatever they're asking you or egging you to respond to. It's about power and intrusion, intrusion on your mind, intrusion on your soul in whatever way they can. (03:21) Okay? So think about it. Healthy people don't send a three word emergency text at 9:00 PM at 10:00 PM, 11, whatever. That's manipulation. It's not communication. A healthy person would say, Hey, I'm at the hospital with Mindy. Such and such happened. You may want to get over here, or whatever the thing is, right? Looks a little different than the narcissist who dangles what we call a carrot. So you are forced them to react and respond, okay? So that's why. What are the tactics they use? So here are the classics I see over and over. Number one, fake emergencies. Good example. Call me now. Something's wrong with the kids. They'll even pull them into it. But even just call me now by itself. Call me now. I need you to talk. I need you to answer or pick up the phone. I need you to pick up the phone. (04:26) It's important. It's an emergency. This urgent, urgent way of speaking. And nine times out of 10, it's something minor. So they could say something, it has to do with the kids. And then you call and it's like, oh, their homework was late, right? Something. They'll find anything they have to bait you. Number two, the drama drops. Just you won't believe what happened. You don't believe what just happened to me or not even to me. You just won't believe what just happened. They're baiting you into a spiral. They know that's going to get your curiosity peaked. And even though they're trying to control that curiosity, that satisfy their need for that supply, and in their mind they're like, oh, she, he on this podcast. It's she usually, but she cares still because she's curious. When I put something out there, she wants to know because I must matter to her somewhat. (05:32) And even if I don't, I still have control of her. It's so gross. Alright, number three, guilt trips disguised as urgency. So example, I don't know why you're ignoring me. This is important. They'll be like, oh, all I want to do is just share this information with you. I'm just trying to help you out. Right? Whatever. It's guilt, it's manipulation, mixed with urgency. The translation of that is I want control. It's not about resolution. So learning these things will help you. Okay? And number four, the Hoover check-ins. Hoover, right? That's the vacuum. If you don't know about hoovering, think I have an episode somewhere. I'll try to remember to link below the, Hey, just thinking about you, or I was just reminiscing about the old days. My husband actually has an ex who would hoover over text messages. Oh, I was just thinking about this thing we did together or this item I got. (06:47) It's designed to stir up nostalgia and suck you back in. They know what they're doing, guys, right? Every single one of these things is about knocking you off your feet so they can grab you, pick you up and stuff 'em inside to feed their supply and let them feel control. So that's all lovely. Let's get how to shut it down. So this is the part where you get to put on your crown, shine it up, and take that power back. Alright? Number one, first things first, guys, don't do shit until you pause, pause, pause, pause. Before you reply, if you even have to reply, can we first please talk about, I know if you're co-parenting, you feel like you have to reply. I hope by now, if you've been listening to my podcast, there are options to deal with certain apps. And that way it's like you can even, I believe, have your attorney on there if you have an attorney, right? Like a third party. But apps are a great way. You keep it very emotionless to the point. Don't take their bait and it is documented. So sometimes they'll be on better behavior because it's being documented like that on an app and they're more aware of it. So it helps. Sometimes they don't give a shit because they're narcissists and rules don't always apply to them in their heads. (08:24) But either way, you have it documented. So if you do need to go to court, if you do need to prove something, you've got everything there and it's all in one spot. I love those apps. So anyway, pause before you reply. If my whole point is if you have to reply, if it's something not related to your child or something that is truly you feel like you need to respond to, don't reply. Your first reaction is usually the one they're fishing for. They know how to get under your skin and you're going to grow. You're going to get out of that space where you feel like that even initially. But you might be, I'm thinking if you're listening to this podcast, you're probably in the space where you might still get triggered. They know how to trigger you. They know you will get triggered. They've seen it before. You fall prey to it in the past so they know they can get you, okay, but not if you practice pausing, breathing. Okay, wait. Number two, fact check ask, is this truly urgent? Is this truly urgent? (09:38) If it's not about the kid's safety or a true emergency, it can wait. If they bait you and they say it's about the kids. As a parent, I get it. We need to say, what is it? If they say, oh, the doggy ate or homework or whatever trash they're trying to trick you with, you stop responding. Don't feed them. Don't say, see, why would you do that? Don't get worked up. Don't react. Just don't respond. The more gray rocking you do with these people, the better. I have Gray Rock episodes too, okay? Gray Rock Method is great for this type of behavior. Number three, respond but don't react. There's a difference. I'm going to say that again. Respond. Don't react. There is a difference. So keep it short, neutral business-like gray Rock all over the place. Gray rock basically means what it says, right? You're a gray rock. (10:28) You're blending in, you're just neutral. You're just there. Example, noted, I'll address this when I'm able or if oh, homework was eaten. You can say, noted. You literally don't give them anything. Don't show emotion. Don't go into questions. Why would you send this? Why are y

    19 min
  7. AUG 14

    Quick Trauma Bond DISCONNECTION

    💬 Episode Description (Show Notes): Feeling the urge to text, check their social, or replay old memories? That’s not love, Queen—that’s the trauma bond talking. In this quick Thrive in 5, Christy shares a 3-minute reset you can use any time those cravings hit so you can calm your body, clear your mind, and take back your power. 📥 Free Gift: The Boundaries Pocket Guide Want to stop second-guessing yourself and finally set boundaries that stick without the guilt spiral? Download Christy’s free Boundaries Pocket Guide — designed to help you reclaim your peace and protect your power after narcissistic abuse. ✨ Grab it here → https://christyjade.kit.com/ce79ea9250 🛠️ Ready to Go Deeper in Your Healing? Whether you’re newly out or years into recovery, support changes everything. Here are 3 powerful ways to work with Christy: ✅ Reclaiming You: 1:1 Clarity & Intake Session 💻 Book here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ ✅ 1-Month Private Coaching Container 💻 Apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ ✅ 3-Month Transformational Coaching Package 💻 Learn more: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 🔗 Related Episodes You’ll Love: 🎧 Still Attached to the Narcissist? This Deep Cord Cutting Practice Can Help 👉 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-attached-to-the-narcissist-this-deep-cord/id1662241353?i=1000708306120 🎧 Thrive in 5: Still Energetically Tied to the Narcissist? Cut the Cord With This Quick Practice 👉 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-energetically-tied-to-the-narcissist-cut-the/id1662241353?i=1000706789155 ✨ Follow Christy on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/   TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Are you feeling the urge to text, check their social or replay old memories of yours? That's not love queen. That is trauma bonding. It is that trauma bond talking to you in this quick Thrive in five. It's going to be very quick today. I share a three minute reset. You can use anytime those cravings hit so you can calm your body, clear your mind, and take back your sexy ass power. Alright? So this is going to be a short, powerful pause in your week to reset your nervous system, protect that peace bubble. It's looking good on you, by the way, and keep you moving forward in this healing journey. So if you've ever felt that pull to check their social or just one more time, read an old text. That's not love, right? It's not that aeration and good feelings. It can feel desperate, it can feel sad. (00:59) All these icky feelings because that's not really love. That's the trauma bond. And Tuesday, I talked all about it. If you have not listened to Tuesday's episode, it is all about this. So definitely listen to this and then I will go back. Or maybe you want to go back and listen to that first. Either way, make sure you find that episode. And the truth about it is your brain is hooked on those little tiny dopamine hits. Again, I talk all about the dopamine on Tuesday's episode, but it can be love bombing and relief after the chaos. It is an up and down cycle, right? So the trick is to break that loop before your brain convinces you to go back. (01:44) So we're going to do a three minute reset for when the urge hits. Okay? So first we're going to name it out. Say this, right? When you get that urge, you go, this is a trauma bond. Not love, not my soulmate. This is just a bond I'm breaking. So naming it takes away some of its power, especially if you say it out loud. I am so big on saying shit out loud Queens. Number two, ground your body feet flat on the floor. Okay? You look around, this is kind of an orientation thing. You look around, name three blue things. Pick any color that you see. You could take it a step further depending how long you want it to be with sense or textures, feeling whatever you need to do. But you can quickly do three blue things, right? It brings your body back to the present where you are safe. (02:50) You need a bubble. Number three, breathe to reset your nervous system. So you could do a halo breath in through the nose for four seconds, hold it for four, exhale for six. You're adding on an extra two seconds to really release to get everything out and all that nasty, gross opposite of dopamine. Crusty ass drama, bonding. We're going to release it in that exhale, right? You do this three times. Inhale four, hold for four, exhale six. If you want to pick five for all three to make it easier, it's fine. There's no right or wrong in this. Okay? So you could do inhale five, hold for five. Exhale for five, okay? Feel your shoulders drop, your chest loosen, and your mind clear. By the time you finish, that craving will feel smaller and you feel like the strong ass queen that you are. And if you want it to get even better, do it twice. (03:51) Name the thing again. Ground your body. Do the breath work. Do it as much as you want to. The more you do it, the better you feel. That sounds like, do you remember that song? The More You? Oh, that was like, the more you fart. Oh my gosh, I'm like a 16-year-old boy. The more you fart, the better you feel. So eat Your Beans with Every Meal. Do you guys remember that weird song? Where'd that come from? I'm a 1980 baby. So some of you in that era may remember. Alright? So just remember, every time you choose you over that toxic pull, you are rewiring your brain for that freedom. That peace. Okay? So save this episode and the next time the urge hits, if you need a little guidance here, just play it. Or if you can remember these three things, write 'em down on a Post-it note, put it on your mirror. (04:42) And also you can grab My Free Boundaries Pocket guide. Yes, I love boundaries. It's one of my favorite words. I have a Free Boundaries pocket guide, and that is in the show notes always. Or if you want to go deeper transformational shit, like who the hell are you? You Queen. At the end of working with me, look at the options to work with me. We have this intro call, but if you know, just want to jump into transformation and you're like, I already know. I love you, queen. Thank you, thank you. We can do a month long or we can do what a lot of my clients do because they want to really do the work. And that's the three month I'm showing up for myself, and I'm going to come out in three months and not recognize myself in the best of ways. So all the links are in the show notes. You got this. And give yourself a hug for showing up for yourself today. All right, see you in the next step.

    6 min
  8. AUG 12

    Breaking the Trauma Bond: What Keeps You Hooked (And How to Finally Break Free)

    Breaking the Trauma Bond: What Keeps You Hooked (And How to Finally Break Free) 💬 Episode Description (Show Notes): You left… but you still feel hooked. You blocked them… but you still think about them. You know they were toxic… so why does part of you miss them? Welcome to the trauma bond. In this episode, Christy breaks down: 🔥 What a trauma bond really is 🧠 Why you feel addicted to someone who hurt you 🚪 The exact steps to finally unhook and come back to YOU If you’ve ever felt confused, ashamed, or obsessed after narcissistic abuse—this is your wake-up call (and your soft place to land). 💕 📥 Free Gift: The Boundaries Pocket Guide Want to stop second-guessing yourself and finally set boundaries that stick without the guilt spiral? Download Christy’s free Boundaries Pocket Guide — designed to help you reclaim your peace and protect your power after narcissistic abuse. ✨ Grab it here → https://christyjade.kit.com/ce79ea9250 🛠️ Ready to Go Deeper in Your Healing? Whether you’re newly out or years into recovery, support changes everything. Here are 3 powerful ways to work with Christy: ✅ Reclaiming You: 1:1 Clarity & Intake Session This 90-minute session is for the woman who’s serious about healing and wants to explore working together in a deeper way. It’s not designed as a one-off quick fix—but rather a powerful first step for those considering the monthly or 3-month coaching containers. If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure which path to take next, this session is for you. 💻 Book here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ ✅ 1-Month Private Coaching Container Includes weekly coaching, somatic tools, and in-between support to help you regulate, reset, and start rebuilding trust with yourself. 💻 Apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ ✅ 3-Month Transformational Coaching Package This is the most supportive and spacious container I offer. We’ll dive deep into emotional healing, nervous system support, boundary work, and personal empowerment so you can rise fully in your peace and power. 💻 Learn more: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 🔗 Related Episodes You’ll Love: 🎧 Still Attached to the Narcissist? This Deep Cord Cutting Practice Can Help 👉 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-attached-to-the-narcissist-this-deep-cord/id1662241353?i=1000708306120 🎧 Thrive in 5: Still Energetically Tied to the Narcissist? Cut the Cord With This Quick Practice 👉 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-energetically-tied-to-the-narcissist-cut-the/id1662241353?i=1000706789155 👑 Stay Connected: ✨ Follow Christy on Instagram → https://instagram.com/christyjadecoach ✨https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): So you block them, you want no contact, whatever it is, they're toxic. So why does part of you still miss them or just obsess over them? Why do you feel guilty or worse even tempted to go back? I've been getting some messages lately with listeners who really are trying to stay away and out of the life and not take the bait, but it is hard for them. So let's go into it. If you've ever felt like you're addicted to the narcissist, this episode is for you. We're talking about the trauma bond, what it is, why it's so hard to break, and how to finally unhook and come back to you because you're the queen, right? (00:46) Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up. (01:44) Hello, beautiful soul. Welcome back to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast where we were clean that peace, protect our power, and rebuild self-trust after narcissistic abuse. I'm Christy Jade, and today we are going deep into something most survivors wrestle with. I'd probably say all of them, even after they leave it is the trauma bond. That soul tie feeling, the obsessive loop that goes round and round in your mind, that craving for someone you know is harmful. And we can get shame about this, right? Kick that shit to the curb. We don't have time for your shame. Alright? So you're not crazy. You are trauma bonded and we're going to talk about it. So what is a trauma bond? It is a psychological and physiological attachment. These are real things, okay? Science that forms through repeated cycles of abuse and the intermittent reinforcement. So basically they hurt you. (02:49) They love bomb you, so you feel relief, right? Then what do they do? They pull away again. It's like, yo-yo, right? And your nervous system actually does become addicted to this cycle. The ups and downs, it becomes attached to it. It's the cycle. It's familiar, and you want that relief, right? Even after they hurt you, you're waiting, okay, well, I'm just holding onto that high. So kind of like a slot machine. You don't really know what you're going to get each day. You keep pulling the lever, hoping this time they're going to love you, right? They're going to treat you right? You're going to change them. Maybe this is all stuff I've heard about in my own life, of course, and then heard from you guys and working with clients. So the more unpredictable the behavior, the stronger bond. (03:48) That's why narcissists are masters at trauma bonding you so signs that you're still hooked even after going no contact or low contact. These trauma bonds can still linger. So here's some signs to know if you are still bonded, you miss them more than you want to admit. You might keep it on the dl. You fantasize them about them changing. Maybe even after you are broken up completely could be after you're divorced, these things happen, right? You doubt yourself or feel guilty for leaving. You have those moments. Maybe it's not all the time you feel anxious, empty or depressed without them. And again, this can be one or all of these. You don't have to necessarily feel all of these, but these are different versions. You minimize what they did. Oh, it wasn't that bad, right? Or look, we had good times though, right? That's minimizing the bad too. (04:51) Or you feel pulled to contact them even when you know it's basically self-sabotage. You still have that pull. This isn't weakness. And I know we can feel weak when we're in this, I get it, but it's a physiological, psychological and emotional loop. And until you interrupt it, it's going to keep looping. So why is it so hard to break? We're going to break down why you're still hooked. Even when your logical mind, you know that guy, there's like on the left shoulder, his logic says run. There is brain chemistry involved in this. So take a sigh of relief, maybe hug yourself. Like, Hey, this is actually a real condition in my brain. (05:39) So give yourself grace, please. So each high you got after a discard or mistreatment abuse, the hoover, the love bomb. That's the cycle. Discard Hoover love bomb released dopamine. You literally became chemically addicted to those tiny hits of validation and relief. And it's a cycle of knowing, oh, well, you know the pattern. You've been around this person long enough to know what the pattern is. So that can look like, oh, there's this abuse. I know what comes after it. That dopamine hit, it's going to feel better after. So I'm going to stick around for that dopamine. Okay? (06:26) Also, you attach during crisis. So that's another reason you are hooked, right? So you brain bonded during trauma. This is a primal survival strategy. Primal. It says stay close to danger so you can control it. And this is a big one in my past. Predict it. You feel like, okay, at least I know I can predict what's going to happen. Spoiler, you cannot control it, but your brain keeps trying. It wants to, which makes sense. And then there's the low self-worth equals an easier hook. So another reason it's hard to break when someone makes you feel like only they can love you the way they love you. Or maybe you're not worthy of love, right? These abusers often will make you feel like shit, knock you down, crush any confidence you have so they can have control over you and hook you more, right? It can tap into your childhood wounds, unmet needs you had, whether it was childhood are grown and fears, just even based on fears that you can lower your self-worth. They become your source of value. Really, you're dependent on them in those dopamine hits and those love bombs to feel valuable. So when they pull away, you panic because your sense of self, which is not from this point on, that's not going to be our sense of self anymore. We're going to do this work, but because that sense of self is tied to them. So how do you break free? That's all Great. Christie, how do you break free? (08:13) Let's flip the script here, Rick. Rick, here's how you start cutting the cord for real. First, label it as trauma bond. Naming it really out loud. Say it out loud. I'm a big advocate of saying shit out loud. Name it. This is trauma bond. It is not love. It is not a soulmate. It is a trauma bond. Say it. This is a trauma bond. Go ahead, queen. And then we're going to rename it f

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Healing Tools for Women Are you feeling lost after breaking free from a toxic relationship? Are you afraid you will get sucked back in, whether it is with the same narcissist or a new one? Are you ready to finally live in peace? In this podcast, you will find healing methods and coping solutions to set you free from narcissistic abuse and its effects. My mission is to equip you to become strong and free through confidence building, proven healing methods and finding peace. If you’re ready to say yes to thriving after abuse and stop chasing everything that hasn’t worked for a plan that will- you’re in the right place! Hey, I’m Christy. A mom, wife and a ruthless narcissist avoider! For years of my life, I went to therapists that didn’t understand narcissism, read generic abuse recovery books and tried things that didn’t help me truly disconnect and break the cycle of narcissistic abuse. I wasted money on tools that didn’t give me lasting results. I finally realized that if I was going to truly disconnect and heal, I had to understand narcissists’ minds and the effects on their victims. After years of education and endless conversations with victims of narcissistic abuse, I created a perfect plan to not just disconnect fully from the current narcissists in my life, but to avoid getting sucked in by future ones, while creating healthy boundaries and healing from the effects of abuse. A life of thriving, not just surviving. And I am ready to share it all with you! If you are a woman ready to finally find a clear cut plan to stop the cycle and heal from narcissistic abuse -effective solutions that have results that are undeniable: like a peaceful night’s sleep, decreased overwhelm, and unshakable confidence, then this podcast is for you! Grab that mocha latte, it’s time to dive in. Wanna work together 1:1, queen? Grab your first power call for mindset and somatic healing now: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ FREE Pocket Guide to Boundaries: https://christyjade.kit.com/ce79ea9250 Have trouble setting or keeping boundaries and want to go deeper? This go at your own pace course is just for you! Grab your (Guilt free!) Empowered Boundaries Course here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Let’s hang out! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/ChristyJade TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fiercechristyjade Email me! fiercemamac@gmail.com

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