175 episodes

Sheri and Matt Salis just wanted a normal life – normal marriage, normal careers, a normal house and happy kids. Instead, they lived a life of lies and terror as they struggled with Matt’s alcoholism. While their experience sounds rare, with over 15 millions problem drinkers in America, their alcoholic marriage was all too normal.



Matt has been writing about their experiences in alcoholism and recovery for years. On the Untoxicated Podcast, Sheri and Matt talk about it, too.



No subjects are off limits as the couple discusses the trauma of active addiction, the pain of early recovery, the destruction and rebuilding of trust, and the impact on their intimate relationship. If you love an alcoholic, the disease will terrorize your relationship. We hope you’ll listen and find healing in our shared stories.



For more support from Sheri and Matt, check out their Echoes of Recovery program providing connection and healing for the loved ones of alcoholics.

Untoxicated Podcast Matt & Sheri Salis

    • Society & Culture
    • 4.5 • 65 Ratings

Sheri and Matt Salis just wanted a normal life – normal marriage, normal careers, a normal house and happy kids. Instead, they lived a life of lies and terror as they struggled with Matt’s alcoholism. While their experience sounds rare, with over 15 millions problem drinkers in America, their alcoholic marriage was all too normal.



Matt has been writing about their experiences in alcoholism and recovery for years. On the Untoxicated Podcast, Sheri and Matt talk about it, too.



No subjects are off limits as the couple discusses the trauma of active addiction, the pain of early recovery, the destruction and rebuilding of trust, and the impact on their intimate relationship. If you love an alcoholic, the disease will terrorize your relationship. We hope you’ll listen and find healing in our shared stories.



For more support from Sheri and Matt, check out their Echoes of Recovery program providing connection and healing for the loved ones of alcoholics.

    Ep176 – Why Sheri and Matt Are Not Psychologists or Therapists

    Ep176 – Why Sheri and Matt Are Not Psychologists or Therapists

    The answer to this episode title has morphed over the years from: they couldn't imagine anyone would want to listen to what they have to say, to: "imposter syndrome," to: groups are dynamic, to: the pressure from expectations for answers sounds sucky. Is that run-on sentence confusing? Listen to the episode, and you'll understand why you can be a student and a teachers. Listen all the way to the end, and you can hear Sheri's idea for Matt's billboard advertising campaign.



    Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to matt@SoberAndUnashamed.com.



    If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

    • 49 min
    Ep175 – Couples Roundtable: The Threat of Relapse

    Ep175 – Couples Roundtable: The Threat of Relapse

    Eight loving, empathetic, hard-working alcoholism survivors sitting around a big microphone - it's a roundtable episode recorded during our winter Marriagevolution Couples Retreat in the mountains of Colorado. Two couples are nearing the end of their first year of sobriety, the third couple has over three years, and Sheri and Matt are starting their seventh year. So there is a variety of experiences, opinions and emotions on full display. Clear communication and respect - respect for each other and respect for all of the possibilities - are two takeaways on which all eight participants agree. This episode is honest, emotional, and as loving as sound waves digitally stored on the internet can be.



    If you and your partner are working to restore your relationship in sobriety, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Marriagevolution program.

    • 1 hr 11 min
    Ep174 – Reconciling the Joys of Alcohol

    Ep174 – Reconciling the Joys of Alcohol

    There is no arguing the fact that without alcohol, Sheri and Matt would never have met. It is also an undisputed reality that some of the best times the couple ever experienced were enhanced by alcohol. Now that Sheri and Matt openly despise alcohol for all of the damage it brought to their family, a reconciliation is in order. Before they discuss reconciling the joy and destruction of alcohol, Sheri and Matt answer a listener question about finding confidence and reconnection in sobriety, while the potential for relapse looms.



    Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to matt@SoberAndUnashamed.com.



    If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

    • 57 min
    Ep173 – Blame Won’t Fix It

    Ep173 – Blame Won’t Fix It

    Blame the alcohol, or the alcoholism, but don't blame the person. We say it all the time. But what if the blame isn't just something that occurs once the addiction is firmly in place? What if blame and criticism and attempts to change our partners is one of the underlying causes of addiction? Sheri and Matt discuss the impact of years of mutual criticism and attempts to change each other. And as you'll hear on this episode, they are much happier now just laughing at each other.



    Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to matt@SoberAndUnashamed.com.



    If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

    • 57 min
    Ep172 – Here Comes the Hard Part

    Ep172 – Here Comes the Hard Part

    So you made it through the holidays...well, definitely don't let your guard down yet. January is really hard in early sobriety, and it is hard for the loved ones trying to avoid emotional relapses. On this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss the emotional drivers from the holidays that impact our self-esteem, and they give tips about what to do to have a mentally healthy start to the year.



    Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to matt@SoberAndUnashamed.com.



    If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

    • 54 min
    Ep171 – Community SHOUT-Outs

    Ep171 – Community SHOUT-Outs

    On this one-of-a-kind episode, Sheri and Matt have compiled the answers to this simple prompt from 17 participants in the SHOUT Sobriety and Echoes of Recovery groups: What does community mean to you? There are a lot of resonating sentiments and powerful statements in the words of the people who understand the transformational impact of community. To move past the Sheri and Matt introduction to the clips from our people, skip to the 19 minute mark.



    Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question. Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your question to matt@SoberAndUnashamed.com.



    If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.



    If you are a high functioning alcoholic seeking to add community to your recovery, please check out our SHOUT Sobriety program.

    • 1 hr 2 min

Customer Reviews

4.5 out of 5
65 Ratings

65 Ratings

Supsse ,

Patriarchal marriage

While I appreciate their candor, some of the episodes are especially tough to listen to. My husband and I have roughly the same story in terms of how alcohol impacted our 25 year relationship and are approximately the same age as the Salis couple. The episodes about their sexual history made me think I was listening to a couple from the 1950s. Submissiveness and patriarchy have hurt women for centuries. I hope that they and those listening will think about the messages that they want to send to, and model for, their children. This cycle of women serving men has to be broken. That being said, this has been helpful in modeling open communication in recovery and making those going through this feel less alone.

nat124653 ,

It’s helpful and makes me feel validated and connected

I love this podcast! I get in waves to listening
To ten episodes at ones then taking a break
And listening to different podcast but I always come back to this one. I recently divorced my alcoholic husband and it is so nice to hear them talk about their relationship, their struggles, how they were both willing to work through the recovery process and now hearing them have a loving marriage. They are very honest and I appreciate it!!

Wormwooddove ,

All wives of alcoholics need this podcast

This podcast for me was at once validating and inspirational. Like most wives are of alcoholics desperate to save the man I love - who is suffering from a horrible disease - I poured over the internet looking for answers. What I found time and time again was - blame and shame towards the caregivers and moral judgement against my husband. Time and time again I was told that I was in part to blame and that I needed to let him hit “rock bottom” to shock and shame him into seeking help. A dangerous life threatening proposition - that no one would ever dream of telling a wife of someone suffering from cancer or dementia…. I stumbled upon this podcast from reading Matt’s posts in Medium. It was such a breath of fresh air. Finally someone with common sense and heart that gets it and has made it out of the tunnel victorious with their marriage thriving. I cannot say enough good things about this podcast. The one I would recommend listening to first is pro-dependency. I promise it will make you cry from finally being heard and understood.

To some of the negative reviews - my response is: 1) AA and ALANON also did not work for my husband - this podcast simply states that there are other alternatives. And fwiw this podcast spoke to me SPECIFICALLY because I was so frustrated about how AA and ALANON’S approach didn’t work for our family. I feel that Matt and Sherri’s approach may be better suited for more academically oriented couples. Lots of promoting evidence based approaches.
2) To some of the commentators about the nature of Matt and Sheri’s marriage…I’m at a loss. There are vast cultural differences throughout our country. Please respect their dynamics as you would want someone to respect the dynamics of your alcoholic relationship.

Please keep up the good work guys. You are making a difference in the lives of so many!

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