The Positivity Xperience

Lori Wheeler
  • 4.9 (165)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Weekly podcast to help bring some relief of living with anxiety, depression, Overthiinkng and soooo many other things so many of us deal with daily. I am an alternative therapist and life coach who has struggled and still do with anxiety and overthinking. I will also teach you to love yourself

  1. Feigning Helplessness: When "I Can't" Becomes Manipulation

    1d ago

    Feigning Helplessness: When "I Can't" Becomes Manipulation

    Not all helplessness is genuine. Sometimes "I can't" becomes a strategy that shifts responsibility, creates guilt, and trains other people to over-function. In this episode, we break down the psychology behind feigned helplessness and the 5 most common ways people use it in relationships, family systems, friendships, and everyday interactions. We explore weaponized incompetence, emotional collapse, dependency, strategic passivity, and chronic overwhelm—and why these behaviors are often less about inability and more about avoiding accountability, discomfort, or responsibility. We also discuss why empathetic people tend to get pulled into these dynamics, how over-functioning becomes normalized, and what it actually looks like to stop rescuing without becoming cold. In this episode, we cover: The psychology behind feigned helplessness 5 manipulative helplessness patterns Why these tactics work so effectively How over-functioning develops in relationships The difference between genuine struggle and strategic helplessness What to do instead of constantly rescuing Helping someone is healthy. Carrying someone who refuses to carry themselves is something different. Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience Work With Me & Other Resources: www.thepositivityxperience.com

    44 min
  2. Why You Replay Conversations (And Can't Turn Your Brain Off)

    May 31

    Why You Replay Conversations (And Can't Turn Your Brain Off)

    Why You Replay Conversations (And Can't Turn Your Brain Off) Episode Description Do you replay conversations in your head for hours… sometimes days… wondering if you said the wrong thing, sounded stupid, came off too emotional, or should have responded differently? In this episode of The Positivity Xperience, we dive deep into the psychology behind rumination, overthinking, hypervigilance, people-pleasing, anxiety loops, emotional processing, and the ego's obsession with control. This isn't "just overthinking." Your brain is often trying to protect you from rejection, abandonment, shame, conflict, judgment, or loss of control. The problem is… the more you replay conversations, the more trapped you become in your own mind. We'll break down: Why your brain replays conversations on loop The connection between anxiety, trauma, and mental rehearsal Why emotionally sensitive people struggle to "let things go" How the ego tries to gain certainty through over-analysis Why some people become addicted to mentally rewriting interactions The hidden link between replaying conversations and people-pleasing Why your nervous system treats social situations like danger How shame and hyper-awareness fuel mental exhaustion The difference between reflection and self-torment Practical tools to interrupt obsessive thought cycles If your brain feels loud the second you're alone… if you constantly revisit what people said, what they meant, or what you should've done differently… this episode is for you. Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience Let's Work Together & Other Resources: www.thepositivityxperience.com

    44 min
  3. "Stop Trying to Understand Them—You'll Never Get the Answer You Want"

    May 24

    "Stop Trying to Understand Them—You'll Never Get the Answer You Want"

    Why do you keep replaying what happened, trying to figure it out, and searching for answers that never seem to feel like enough? In this episode, we break down the psychology behind the need to understand "why"—why your brain craves answers, why your ego keeps you stuck in the loop, and why even when you get explanations, they rarely bring the closure you're looking for. We explore cognitive closure, attachment activation, and how overthinking becomes a way to regulate emotional pain. You'll also learn why other people often can't give you the clarity you're looking for—and why continuing to search for it can keep you stuck longer. In this episode, we cover: Why your brain craves explanations and certainty The psychology behind rumination and overthinking Why answers rarely bring the closure you expect The role of ego in needing a clear "story" Why people often can't give you real answers How to shift from needing answers to accepting reality You don't need the perfect explanation to move forward. You need to stop trying to solve emotional pain with intellectual answers. Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience Let's Work Togther & Other Resources: www.thepositivityxperience.com

    44 min
  4. What Manipulators Say (And What They Really Mean)

    May 17

    What Manipulators Say (And What They Really Mean)

    Some of the most manipulative behavior doesn't sound aggressive at all — it sounds emotional, hurt, misunderstood, or even vulnerable. In this episode, we break down 5 common phrases manipulators use, what they're really doing psychologically, why they work so well, and why engaging with them often pulls you away from the real issue. We explore guilt manipulation, blame shifting, emotional withdrawal, minimization, and debt-based control — all through the lens of psychology, nervous system responses, and real-life relational dynamics. In this episode, we cover: 5 manipulative phrases and what they really mean Why certain language patterns trigger guilt and compliance The psychology behind shame avoidance and blame shifting Why empathetic people are especially vulnerable to these tactics How manipulation works through nervous system activation Why not engaging is often the most powerful response This is a grounded, psychology-based conversation about language, control, and learning to hear the tactic underneath the sentence. Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience Let's Work Together & Resources: www.thepositivityxperience.com

    45 min
  5. "If You Keep Chasing Validation, This Is Why It Never Feels Like Enough"

    May 10

    "If You Keep Chasing Validation, This Is Why It Never Feels Like Enough"

    Why do you need people to agree with you? Why does someone's response—or lack of response—affect how you feel about yourself? In this episode, we break down the psychology of validation: what it is, why your brain seeks it, and how it becomes something you depend on rather than something you simply appreciate. We explore how attachment patterns, identity formation, and ego all contribute to validation-seeking behavior—and why relying on external confirmation can keep you stuck, reactive, and disconnected from your own internal authority. You'll also learn how validation-seeking shows up in everyday behavior, why it's often confused with confidence, and how it connects to deeper patterns like fear of abandonment, over-explaining, and difficulty setting boundaries. In this episode, we cover: What validation is and why the brain craves it How attachment and early experiences shape validation-seeking The role of ego in needing constant confirmation How validation-seeking shows up in real life Why dependence on validation keeps you stuck How to shift from external validation to internal stability Validation is not the problem. Needing it to feel okay is. Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience.com Let's work together & other resources: www.thepositivityxperience.com

    45 min
  6. Abandonment and Rejection: Why It Hurts (and Why It Doesn't Define You)

    May 3

    Abandonment and Rejection: Why It Hurts (and Why It Doesn't Define You)

    Why does rejection hurt so much? Why can a breakup, someone pulling away, or the fear of being left feel so overwhelming — even when you know you should "move on"? In this episode, we break down the psychology and neuroscience of abandonment and rejection. We explore how social pain affects the brain, why attachment history shapes the intensity of abandonment fear, and how rejection can trigger old wounds that have very little to do with the current moment. We also talk about why the people you fear losing often hold too much power, how ego turns rejection into a verdict on your worth, and why someone breaking up with you is painful but not proof that you are unlovable, broken, or not enough. In this episode, we cover: The neuroscience of social pain and rejection Why abandonment hits so hard for some people How attachment and emotional neglect shape abandonment fear Why breakups can feel like identity collapse The difference between loss and worth Why the people you fear losing often hold too much psychological power How to stop making rejection mean something permanent about you This is a grounded, psychology-based conversation about heartbreak, identity, attachment, and learning to separate pain from self-worth. Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience.com Let's Work Together & Resources: www.thepositivityxperience.com

    47 min
  7. Healthy Communication: Why It Breaks Down (And When to Stop Trying)

    Apr 26

    Healthy Communication: Why It Breaks Down (And When to Stop Trying)

    Communication isn't just about talking more—it's about clarity, regulation, accountability, and mutual participation. In this episode, we break down what healthy communication actually looks like and why so many people struggle with it. Most communication patterns are not intentional—they are learned through attachment styles, nervous system responses, and early relational dynamics. We explore why defensiveness, shutdown, over-explaining, and emotional reactivity are so common, and how these patterns create repeated communication breakdowns. You'll also learn how to recognize when communication is no longer productive and when the issue is no longer about how you're communicating—but about whether the other person is willing to participate. This episode also dives into one of the hardest realizations: sometimes communication doesn't improve, and the choice becomes whether to accept the relationship as it is or create distance. In this episode, we cover: What healthy communication actually requires Why most people were never taught how to communicate The role of attachment styles in communication patterns How the nervous system impacts conversations Common communication breakdown patterns When communication becomes a cycle instead of progress How to decide between acceptance and distance Healthy communication is mutual. If it's not mutual, it's not sustainable. Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience Let's Work Together: www.thepositivityxperience.com

    46 min
  8. Growing Past People Who Don't Want You to Grow

    Apr 19

    Growing Past People Who Don't Want You to Grow

    Growth doesn't just change you—it changes your relationships. In this episode, we break down the psychology behind why people resist your growth and why becoming more self-aware, boundaries, and autonomous can create tension in your relationships. We explore how attachment patterns, nervous system responses, and identity dynamics all play a role in why others may push back when you start changing. When you stop over-explaining, over-giving, or managing other people's emotions, it disrupts familiar patterns—and not everyone is willing to adjust.  This episode also dives into your role in these dynamics, including how you may unintentionally soften your growth to maintain connection, and why learning to tolerate discomfort is essential for real change. In this episode, we cover: *Why personal growth disrupts relationship dynamics *The psychology behind why people resist your change *How attachment and familiarity influence behavior *The nervous system's role in keeping you in old patterns *Where you may be holding yourself back to maintain connection *What it actually takes to grow without reverting Growth is not about leaving people behind—it's about no longer abandoning yourself to keep them. Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience Let's Work Together: www.thepositivityxperience.com

    45 min
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4.9
out of 5
165 Ratings

About

Weekly podcast to help bring some relief of living with anxiety, depression, Overthiinkng and soooo many other things so many of us deal with daily. I am an alternative therapist and life coach who has struggled and still do with anxiety and overthinking. I will also teach you to love yourself

Information

  • Creator
    Lori Wheeler
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2026
  • Episodes
    288
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © All Rights Reserved Lori Wheeler
  • Show Website
    The Positivity Xperience

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