Be A Better You

Allison K. Dagney

The Be a Better You Podcast (formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast) is hosted by Best Selling Author and Certified Rapid Reprogramming™ Coach, Allison K. Dagney.  As a young adult, I met a man who I believed was the love of my life. We got married quickly and brought three kids into the world. But something was wrong. I was miserable. And I blamed myself for all the problems in our marriage. What I didn't know, was that I was being emotional abused by who I believe is a narcissist. I decided it was time to break free and step into the person I was always meant to be — confident and free to live the life I’ve always imagined.  I escaped, and I turned my personal story of transformation into a memoir. And now I coach women all over the world to help them transform their pain into empowerment, experience peace and joy, and start living life like never before. The views and opinions expressed by podcast guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect my personal views, opinions, or professional positions.

  1. 1d ago

    Ep 239: Using the Incredible Power of the Brain to Heal From Emotional Abuse

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Welcome to another enlightening episode of the Be A Better You Podcast! Today, we're diving deep into the incredible power of the brain and its capacity to blend imagination with reality. Have you ever felt the shock from a battery without actually touching it, or tasted the sourness of a lemon just by thinking about it? Our brain's ability to elicit physical reactions from mere thoughts is not just fascinating; it's a tool we can harness for healing. In this episode, we explore how the brain struggles to differentiate between real and imagined experiences—from the vividness of dreams to the emotional impact of movies. Using everyday examples and personal anecdotes, such as the unexpected adventure of changing a smoke detector battery or the immersive experience of virtual reality, we'll show you just how malleable your perception can be. Why is this important? Because understanding this aspect of your brain opens up transformative avenues for healing from emotional trauma. If our minds can convince us we're flying through corridors or standing in space, imagine the potential for positive change and emotional healing using the same principles. We'll discuss how virtual reality and simple visualization techniques are already changing lives, helping people overcome deep-seated fears and even aiding in physical rehabilitation. Join us as we unravel the science behind why your brain is your most powerful ally in healing and how you can actively engage it to transform your life. Remember, you're in control, and with knowledge and intention, there's no limit to what you can achieve with your mind. Don't forget, for those looking for deeper engagement and support after abuse or emotional trauma, our Radiate and Rise community offers monthly coaching calls, weekly trainings, and a safe space for just $55 a month. Dive into a world of healing and personal growth with us! Click the link to register for The FREE ONLINE TRAINING: Stop Coping. Start Healing. https://www.radiatenrise.com/stop-coping-start-healing-free-training Register for the FREE Stop Coping, Start Healing Training: https://www.radiatenrise.com/stop-coping-start-healing-free-training-dec-15 Support the show Ready to Heal Beyond the Podcast? If you've left an emotionally abusive relationship but still struggle with self-doubt, emotional triggers, or feeling stuck, personalized mentorship can help you move forward. Explore my Private Coaching Program and schedule a complimentary Alignment Call to see if we're a good fit. Explore Private Mentorship: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=25254715&appointmentType=63611986 Ready to stop coping, start real healing and start feeling like yourself again? Get your Free seat at the NEXT Stop Coping Start Healing LIVE Training @7p EST. Replays available to all who register:⬇️ https://www.radiatenrise.com/stop-coping-start-healing-free-training-dec-15 Website: www.radiatenrise.com  Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast*

  2. Oct 13

    Ep 238: What If You Don’t Have to Feel It to Heal It?

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond You've probably heard, “You have to feel it to heal it.” But what if feeling your emotions isn't the only path to healing after emotional abuse? In this episode of Be A Better You Podcast, Allison Dagney challenges one of the most common pieces of healing advice. While acknowledging and feeling your emotions is important, repeatedly feeling, processing, and regulating the same emotions may not address the subconscious beliefs underneath them. You'll learn how triggers, rumination, emotional numbness, and nervous system responses can connect to deeper beliefs formed or reinforced through emotional abuse—and why you may still be able to uncover those beliefs even when you can't access the feelings themselves. Allison also shares the story of a client who felt completely emotionally numb, yet was able to take a “back door” into the deeper work and uncover what was underneath. Plus, learn about Allison's free live training, Stop Coping. Start Healing., happening October 15 at 7 p.m. Eastern, where you'll learn how to begin identifying and challenging the subconscious beliefs that may be keeping you stuck after emotional abuse. You don't always have to feel it to heal it—but you do have to do something else...tune in, to find out.  Schedule your complimentary Alignment Call here: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=25254715&appointmentType=63611986 Register for the FREE Stop Coping, Start Healing Training: https://www.radiatenrise.com/stop-coping-start-healing-free-training-dec-15 Support the show Ready to Heal Beyond the Podcast? If you've left an emotionally abusive relationship but still struggle with self-doubt, emotional triggers, or feeling stuck, personalized mentorship can help you move forward. Explore my Private Coaching Program and schedule a complimentary Alignment Call to see if we're a good fit. Explore Private Mentorship: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=25254715&appointmentType=63611986 Ready to stop coping, start real healing and start feeling like yourself again? Get your Free seat at the NEXT Stop Coping Start Healing LIVE Training @7p EST. Replays available to all who register:⬇️ https://www.radiatenrise.com/stop-coping-start-healing-free-training-dec-15 Website: www.radiatenrise.com  Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast*

  3. Oct 6

    Ep 237: The Right and Wrong Ways to Heal After Emotional Abuse

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Are you actually healing after emotional abuse—or have you just gotten better at coping with the pain? In this episode of Be A Better You Podcast, Allison Dagney breaks down the difference between coping and true healing after a toxic or emotionally abusive relationship. You’ll learn how unhealthy coping mechanisms like alcohol, shopping, emotional eating, scrolling, and distraction can keep you stuck—but also why seemingly healthy strategies like exercise, meditation, breath-work, self-care, and even therapy can sometimes become ways of managing triggers without addressing what’s underneath them. Allison shares real-life examples of rumination, emotional triggers, nervous system activation, and subconscious beliefs to help you recognize when you're coping, when you're avoiding, and when you're actually doing the deeper work of healing. Plus, learn about Allison’s free live training, Stop Coping. Start Healing., happening October 15 at 7 p.m. Eastern, where she'll teach you how to begin identifying and changing the deeper beliefs that may be keeping you stuck after emotional abuse. Schedule your complimentary Alignment Call here: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=25254715&appointmentType=63611986 Register for the FREE Stop Coping, Start Healing Training: https://www.radiatenrise.com/stop-coping-start-healing-free-training-dec-15 Support the show Ready to Heal Beyond the Podcast? If you've left an emotionally abusive relationship but still struggle with self-doubt, emotional triggers, or feeling stuck, personalized mentorship can help you move forward. Explore my Private Coaching Program and schedule a complimentary Alignment Call to see if we're a good fit. Explore Private Mentorship: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=25254715&appointmentType=63611986 Ready to stop coping, start real healing and start feeling like yourself again? Get your Free seat at the NEXT Stop Coping Start Healing LIVE Training @7p EST. Replays available to all who register:⬇️ https://www.radiatenrise.com/stop-coping-start-healing-free-training-dec-15 Website: www.radiatenrise.com  Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast*

  4. Sep 29

    Ep 236: How to Stop Being So Sad After Abuse

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Why am I still so sad after emotional abuse—even though the relationship is over? If you've left a toxic or emotionally abusive relationship but still feel depressed, defeated, lost, empty, or unable to get out of a funk, this episode is for you. In How to Stop Being So Sad After Abuse, Allison Dagney explores why leaving an abusive relationship doesn't automatically make you feel happy again. You may be grieving far more than the person—you may be grieving lost years, the future you imagined, your family, your identity, and the version of yourself you were before the abuse. Allison shares a personal passage from her book When Tears Leave Scars, written during one of the deepest periods of sadness in her own recovery, and explains why healing isn't only about finding ways to feel better in the moment. Sometimes the deeper work is uncovering the beliefs underneath the sadness—beliefs like I wasted my life, I failed, I'll never be happy again, or it's too late for me. You'll learn why relief and happiness aren't the same thing, how beliefs about your past can quietly become predictions about your future, and why feeling deeply sad today does not mean you'll always feel this way. If you're struggling with sadness, low mood, grief, or feelings of depression after emotional abuse or a toxic relationship, this episode offers a different way to understand what may be keeping you stuck—and hope that your life after abuse can become much bigger than what happened to you. Schedule your complimentary Alignment Call here: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=25254715&appointmentType=63611986 Register for the FREE Stop Coping, Start Healing Training: https://www.radiatenrise.com/stop-coping-start-healing-free-training-dec-15 Support the show Ready to Heal Beyond the Podcast? If you've left an emotionally abusive relationship but still struggle with self-doubt, emotional triggers, or feeling stuck, personalized mentorship can help you move forward. Explore my Private Coaching Program and schedule a complimentary Alignment Call to see if we're a good fit. Explore Private Mentorship: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=25254715&appointmentType=63611986 Ready to stop coping, start real healing and start feeling like yourself again? Get your Free seat at the NEXT Stop Coping Start Healing LIVE Training @7p EST. Replays available to all who register:⬇️ https://www.radiatenrise.com/stop-coping-start-healing-free-training-dec-15 Website: www.radiatenrise.com  Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast*

  5. Sep 22

    Ep 235: Why Don't I Feel Like Myself After Emotional Abuse?

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond How Do I Feel Normal Again After Emotional Abuse? You left the toxic or emotionally abusive relationship. So why don’t you feel like yourself again? Maybe you thought once the relationship ended, you would finally feel free. Instead, you’re questioning yourself, overthinking interactions, feeling defensive, struggling to trust people, or wondering why you can’t seem to get back to the person you were before the abuse. If you’re wondering how to feel normal again after emotional abuse or narcissistic abuse, this episode of Be A Better You Podcast is for you. We’re talking about what happens when you spend years adapting to an unhealthy environment—and then have to figure out how to live in a healthy world again. You may have learned to anticipate someone’s anger, defend yourself quickly, question your own perception, watch for changes in someone’s mood, or constantly worry that you’ve done something wrong. Those patterns may have helped you navigate an emotionally abusive relationship, but after the relationship ends, they can leave you feeling hypervigilant, stuck in survival mode, and disconnected from yourself. So how do you find yourself again? In this episode, we’ll explore rebuilding self-trust after emotional abuse, taking healthy responsibility for your own growth without blaming yourself for someone else’s behavior, relearning what love and trust mean, and letting go of survival patterns you no longer need. And perhaps most importantly, we’ll challenge the idea that healing means becoming the person you were before the abuse. You don’t necessarily need your old self back. You get to decide who you want to become now. If you’re struggling to feel normal after a toxic relationship, wondering why you’ve changed, trying to rebuild your confidence, or learning how to trust yourself again after gaslighting and emotional abuse, this episode can help you understand why this transition feels so difficult—and why it doesn’t have to be permanent. If you’re ready to go deeper, join me for my FREE live training, Stop Coping. Start Healing., on October 15 at 7 PM Eastern. We’ll explore why you can leave an emotionally abusive relationship and still carry the beliefs and patterns it created—and what it can look like to finally address what’s underneath them. Click the link to register for free. https://www.radiatenrise.com/stop-coping-start-healing-free-training Schedule your complimentary Alignment Call here: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=25254715&appointmentType=63611986 Register for the FREE Stop Coping, Start Healing Training: https://www.radiatenrise.com/stop-coping-start-healing-free-training-dec-15 Support the show Ready to Heal Beyond the Podcast? If you've left an emotionally abusive relationship but still struggle with self-doubt, emotional triggers, or feeling stuck, personalized mentorship can help you move forward. Explore my Private Coaching Program and schedule a complimentary Alignment Call to see if we're a good fit. Explore Private Mentorship: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=25254715&appointmentType=63611986 Ready to stop coping, start real healing and start feeling like yourself again? Get your Free seat at the NEXT Stop Coping Start Healing LIVE Training @7p EST. Replays available to all who register:⬇️ https://www.radiatenrise.com/stop-coping-start-healing-free-training-dec-15 Website: www.radiatenrise.com  Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast*

  6. Sep 15

    Ep 234: How to Stop Caring What They Think About You

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond How to Stop Caring About What They Think of You Why do you still care what they think about you—even when you know their opinion shouldn’t matter? Maybe you’ve left an emotionally abusive or toxic relationship and you don’t even want your ex back, but you still want them to understand what they did. You want the family to know the truth. You feel triggered when someone believes their version of the story. Or you find yourself explaining, defending, and trying to prove that you’re not the person someone has made you out to be. If you’ve ever wondered how to stop caring what other people think of you, this episode of Be A Better You Podcast goes deeper than simply telling you to “stop caring.” We’re exploring why being misunderstood can feel so uncomfortable, especially after emotional abuse or narcissistic abuse, and the subconscious beliefs that may be keeping you dependent on someone else’s opinion. Beliefs like: I need them to understand me. I need people to believe me. I need him to know the truth. If they think I’m the problem, maybe I am. I need to defend myself. What they think about me says something about who I am. You’ll learn why constantly seeking validation, explaining yourself, worrying about other people’s opinions, or trying to control how someone sees you may actually point to a deeper struggle with self-trust and emotional freedom. Because healing isn’t getting everyone to finally understand your side of the story. It’s reaching the point where someone can misunderstand you—and you still trust what you know about yourself. If you’re recovering from emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse, a toxic relationship, divorce, gaslighting, people pleasing, or chronic self-doubt, this episode will help you begin separating who you are from what someone else thinks about you. And if you’re ready to go deeper into the beliefs that may still be keeping you stuck after emotional abuse, join me for my FREE live training, Stop Coping. Start Healing., on October 15 at 7 PM Eastern. I’ll show you why you can understand what happened, know the relationship was unhealthy, and still struggle to move forward—and how working with the subconscious beliefs underneath your thoughts and emotions can help create real change. Click the link to register for free. https://www.radiatenrise.com/stop-coping-start-healing-free-training Register for the FREE Stop Coping, Start Healing Training: https://www.radiatenrise.com/stop-coping-start-healing-free-training-dec-15 Support the show Ready to Heal Beyond the Podcast? If you've left an emotionally abusive relationship but still struggle with self-doubt, emotional triggers, or feeling stuck, personalized mentorship can help you move forward. Explore my Private Coaching Program and schedule a complimentary Alignment Call to see if we're a good fit. Explore Private Mentorship: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=25254715&appointmentType=63611986 Ready to stop coping, start real healing and start feeling like yourself again? Get your Free seat at the NEXT Stop Coping Start Healing LIVE Training @7p EST. Replays available to all who register:⬇️ https://www.radiatenrise.com/stop-coping-start-healing-free-training-dec-15 Website: www.radiatenrise.com  Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast*

  7. Sep 8

    Ep 233: Why Am I Still Angry About What They Did?

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Why am I still so angry after emotional abuse—even when the relationship is over? If you’ve left a toxic, narcissistic, or emotionally abusive relationship but still feel consumed by anger, resentment, or thoughts about what happened, this episode is for you. Maybe you’re angry about how he treated you. Angry about the years you lost. Angry that you stayed as long as you did. Angry at the people who enabled him or never knew the truth. Or maybe you can’t get past the fact that he seems to have moved on without ever taking accountability for what he did. But what if your anger isn’t the problem? In this episode of Be A Better You Podcast, we’re talking about anger after emotional abuse and what may actually be underneath it. You’ll learn how beliefs like “He should be sorry,” “He shouldn’t have gotten away with it,” “I should have seen it sooner,” or “I wasted years of my life” can keep your mind emotionally connected to something you desperately want to move beyond. This isn’t about forcing forgiveness, pretending what happened was okay, or telling yourself to just let it go. It’s about getting curious about what your anger is asking for—and whether your healing has unknowingly become dependent on something outside of your control. If you’re struggling with anger, resentment, rumination, intrusive thoughts, or letting go after narcissistic abuse, emotional abuse, divorce, or a toxic relationship, this episode may help you see your anger very differently. And if you’re ready to go deeper, join me for my FREE live training, Stop Coping. Start Healing., on October 15 at 7 PM Eastern. We’ll explore why you can understand exactly what happened to you and still feel stuck—and how addressing the subconscious beliefs underneath your thoughts and emotions can help you move forward. Click the link to register for free. https://www.radiatenrise.com/stop-coping-start-healing-free-training Schedule your complimentary Alignment Call here: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=25254715&appointmentType=63611986 Register for the FREE Stop Coping, Start Healing Training: https://www.radiatenrise.com/stop-coping-start-healing-free-training-dec-15 Support the show Ready to Heal Beyond the Podcast? If you've left an emotionally abusive relationship but still struggle with self-doubt, emotional triggers, or feeling stuck, personalized mentorship can help you move forward. Explore my Private Coaching Program and schedule a complimentary Alignment Call to see if we're a good fit. Explore Private Mentorship: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=25254715&appointmentType=63611986 Ready to stop coping, start real healing and start feeling like yourself again? Get your Free seat at the NEXT Stop Coping Start Healing LIVE Training @7p EST. Replays available to all who register:⬇️ https://www.radiatenrise.com/stop-coping-start-healing-free-training-dec-15 Website: www.radiatenrise.com  Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast*

  8. Sep 1

    Ep 232: Quick Tips for Abuse Survivor Empowerment

    Leave a text or voice message so we can respond As a survivor myself, I understand the complexities of navigating self-doubt after emotion and narcissistic abuse, and I'm here to share practical insights that can make a big impact with minimal effort. This episode is not just a guide; it's an invitation to be empowered. Let's embark on a journey together, exploring quick tips that promise significant impact, paving the way for a transformative shift from insecurity to invincible. Tune in and be ready to unlock your inner strength with these quick and effective tips, bringing about positive change in your life. You deserve to feel empowered, and it starts here, one quick tip at a time. Schedule your complimentary Alignment Call here: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=25254715&appointmentType=63611986 Register for the FREE Stop Coping, Start Healing Training: https://www.radiatenrise.com/stop-coping-start-healing-free-training-dec-15 Support the show Ready to Heal Beyond the Podcast? If you've left an emotionally abusive relationship but still struggle with self-doubt, emotional triggers, or feeling stuck, personalized mentorship can help you move forward. Explore my Private Coaching Program and schedule a complimentary Alignment Call to see if we're a good fit. Explore Private Mentorship: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=25254715&appointmentType=63611986 Ready to stop coping, start real healing and start feeling like yourself again? Get your Free seat at the NEXT Stop Coping Start Healing LIVE Training @7p EST. Replays available to all who register:⬇️ https://www.radiatenrise.com/stop-coping-start-healing-free-training-dec-15 Website: www.radiatenrise.com  Email: Allison@radiatenrise.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/ *Formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast*

4.8
out of 5
60 Ratings

About

The Be a Better You Podcast (formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast) is hosted by Best Selling Author and Certified Rapid Reprogramming™ Coach, Allison K. Dagney.  As a young adult, I met a man who I believed was the love of my life. We got married quickly and brought three kids into the world. But something was wrong. I was miserable. And I blamed myself for all the problems in our marriage. What I didn't know, was that I was being emotional abused by who I believe is a narcissist. I decided it was time to break free and step into the person I was always meant to be — confident and free to live the life I’ve always imagined.  I escaped, and I turned my personal story of transformation into a memoir. And now I coach women all over the world to help them transform their pain into empowerment, experience peace and joy, and start living life like never before. The views and opinions expressed by podcast guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect my personal views, opinions, or professional positions.

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